J2P Monday: Some chants

I’m still working on the ho’oponopono prayer and feeling amazed.  The more

mindful I become of healing myself every time I’m annoyed, bothered, upset, etc. with something or someone “out there”, the more I feel the power of the healing and the more I realize how much I judge.  I’m working up an idea for going bigger with this which I  hope to unveil next week.

In the meantime, for my Sunday peace time I did one of the meditations in Deepak’s latest 21 day program (I’m a couple of days behind, so not the one for today) and then chose to sing the Guyatri Mantra and Om Shanti.  Thought I’d just put those up so you can have some peaceful moments too.

Chant time and Dungeon Prompt

Muscles of the head, face, and neck.

Muscles of the head, face, and neck. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Here in the eastern U.S. it’s Saturday, which is a good time to think about setting aside 10 minutes to pray or chant for peace on Sunday.  See the CPS page for more info.

And this week’s Dungeon Prompt from Sreejit:

We all have our breaking points. For some, we know that we’ve reached our limit when we dissolve into tears, while others of us cry at a well sung song, or a work of art. Some of us rage against the world, while others turn within and leave everyone they know behind.

Tell us about the last time you just couldn’t take anymore. Share with us, both what was going on in your head, and the expression of it that the world saw outside of it? What was the trigger that set everything in motion? Is this a common occurrence or a once or twice in a lifetime event? Let us all be a part of your breaking point.

Most of my breaking points have had to do with health — and especially pain– over these long years of healing. there have been a few memorable moments when I just couldn’t take it.

A couple of prompts ago I wrote about the time a pinched nerve in my neck led me to a Fischer-Hoffman processing session and lots of release.  The breaking point moment came earlier when the pain was so excruciating I sank to the floor and cried for God to either heal it or kill me.  And I really didn’t care which.  Soon after I had the lightbulb moment that led to the amazing processing session.

But for this prompt I thought about more recent breaking points.  Ongoing, recurring breaking points in this long drawn-out healing.  The first 20 years of sorting out the many problems with my muscles didn’t interfere with my life too badly except for the accompanying fatigue.  Then 10 years ago, when the muscles in my head started unwinding on their own, the journey started taking on a life of its own.

At first it was just small periods of time and pretty mild.  But the last several years it expanded in both (1) intensity of jerking and pulling as the muscles opened one tiny knot at a time and (2) in hours per day; sometimes as much as 12 or 14.  It has particularly liked to go off in the night so I’ve often had weeks at a time when I slept one or two hours a night six or seven nights in a row with one night of sleep in before the next round.  All that activity also caused lots of migraines.

I’ve lost count of the number of breaking points there’ve been over these few years.  I’ve been saying for ages that I’ve been beyond the end of my rope for so long I don’t know how I’m still hanging in here.  And then I laugh because this is a ride that has clearly been determined on some higher level.  Affirmations and visualizations and bargains with my inner child and shaking my fist at Archangel Michael while demanding that he heal these effing muscles NOW have all proved useless.  So I can be beyond the end of my rope and I still have to cope.  So I do.

I know there’s some reason for this that, so far, is beyond my earthly ability to comprehend.  I’ve “gotten” and written about the importance of understanding how complex our muscles are and how VERY interconnected and about patience and how the healing journey can be long and tedious.  I’ve processed early traumas and dramas and accidents that contributed.  I’ve sorted through related ancestral and past life issues.  And yet this just keeps on.  Some reason why I have to experience the opening of every single knot on every single fiber of every single muscle must be operating but I’m clueless.

There’s just one crazy tight intertwined set of a few muscles left.  It seems so close I think every time it starts opening again that this could be the moment it ends.  I suppose someday when this part of the journey is behind me it will all be clear. In the meantime, I reach the breaking point every now and then, smile at “what is”, and discover I’m strong enough to get past the breaking point…

Note:  You can check out the Healing Journey tab for more info — if you too have issues with muscles there’s a lot of info there.

Inner and Outer Part 2– Being Human: What Matters?

Last week I put up a post about bucket lists and my thoughts about inner and outer value.  Part 2 is inspired in part by one of the many great posts from Alison and Don over at Adventures in Wonderland.  Don wrote a deeply thoughtful post about–among other things– questioning his value when he’s not racking up lists of services offered and “notable” accomplishments.

Since I’ve been thinking deeply about the issue of what we value, especially as to inner work vs. outer work, this post caused me to stop and contemplate once more.

I’ve mentioned a few times on the Journey2Peace posts and in general that I believe one of the most important contributions we can make to the world is to heal our inner beings so the energy we bring to the web of all life is peace, love and compassion.

It’s not that I don’t think people can start a foundation or do volunteer work or launch a pay-it-forward campaign and make a contribution because there are wonderful ways to offer service “out there”.  But we’ve reached a place where we only place value on credits garnered in these external ways.  My belief is that even service “out there” benefits from doing inner work and allowing spirit to lead.

Sometimes it seems society doesn’t care that a person who thinks up a program from a place of anger or tunnel vision about the world can create something that harms instead of helps.  As a sociologist I long ago learned how many times a theory or program was foisted on places around the world only to discover there was a flaw that made things worse instead of better.  But little credence is given to ramifications like that — as long as something got done with good intention, the perpetrators add to their list of credits.

And, because most of us don’t think in terms of a great web of energy connecting all of us, no acknowledgement whatsoever for internal clearing and healing is given.  No account is taken of the impact each person’s healing has on the whole.

I’ve believed for a long time now that people who have cleared issues and raised consciousness enough to hold a space of love and peace are able to envision programs and ideas more likely to serve the greater good.  I’ve also believed for a long time that the energy vibration each of us holds within the Oneness of All is perhaps the most important contribution or detriment we offer as humans.

When the world is in chaos and filled with war, the balance of energy leans to anger, hatred, violence, etc.; more energy in the web is angry than peaceful. If we want to shift the world to more harmony and peace, it starts with each person who changes his or her personal life to hold harmony and peace as their core.

When I see Alison and Don’s journey, I see an inspiring leap of faith in selling their home and setting out on this journey.  In their profoundly insightful posts about their journeys, not only through the world but in themselves, they offer us teaching, show us healing. I think that’s a huge contribution.  The world may not be ready yet to count that but I think it’s immensely important and service of the highest sort.

Whether you choose to practice mindfulness or pursue some form of emotional release work or chanting or…  as long as you are releasing the past and learning to live in the moment, where peace lives, you are serving the world.

Chant for peace

The Japanese Peace Bell and its pagoda at Unit...

The Japanese Peace Bell Photograph credit: Dragonbite. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve been participating in Deepak’s latest 21 day meditation so part of my Sunday peace time will involve today’s meditation.

If you’ve been around Collective Prayer Sundays for a while, you know I recommend the lovingkindness chant:

  • The earth is filled with lovingkindness
  • She is well
  • She is peaceful and at ease
  • She is happy

But I also suggest that there are many ways you can hold a space for peace.  Sometimes it’s clearing out something within you that blocks peace.  Sometimes it’s saying a prayer.  Sometimes it’s creating a ceremony and carrying it out.  However you choose to celebrate peace today, thank you.

Inner world, outer world–what counts? Part 1


I’ve been contemplating the idea of bucket lists and why I don’t have one for a long time (see post).  Lately I’ve been adding discussions of “living life to the fullest” or “making every day count” to my sense of disconnect from these popular subjects.

The lists and suggestions about what makes life full are always full of places to go, things to see, activities to accomplish.  External “stuff”, to me.  The idea is that in order to count, a life must be defined by lists and accomplishments in the outer world.  Acceptance of this notion seems to be deeply ingrained in the consciousness of a huge portion of the population, at least in the U.S.

Every time someone urges me to live my life to the fullest along with the vision of endlessly busy days and nights which seems to accompany this idea, I feel flummoxed.  By most people’s standards my life has gone nowhere for many years now.  Inward progress, physical healing, transformational changes in outlook and ways of being…  these have been the stuff of my journey.  When it comes to lists of places I feel I must see or things I must produce or actions I must take in order to feel my life has counted, well, I don’t have any.

Are there places I’ve not seen that I’d like to see? Yes.  Are there books not written or DVDs not made that I’d like to complete?  Yes.  Do I feel like any of those things make a big difference to the value of my life?  No.  Do I think that on my deathbed I’ll regret the places not seen or the things not done?  Not really.  Which is not to say that for someone else those things aren’t important or might be done in a consciousness-expanding way. It’s just not how I think about my life any more.

In early adulthood I lived a life of constant activity.  Full days of school and/or work, nights of clubs and movies and dinners out as well as serial boyfriends, parties and conversations.  For me (I’m not suggesting that this is necessarily the case for everyone) the busy-ness arose from my frantic need to fill the empty spaces without actually looking into their origins or the whys and wherefores.  The more I filled my life with places to go and things to do, the bigger the emptiness grew.

When I finally dared to look inward, I found more richness and fulfillment than I’d ever found by running around in an endless cycle of activity.  My goals changed.  Healing became a primary pursuit.  Healing my body.  Healing my mind.  Healing my spirit.  I’m interested in compassion and a loving heart.  I want to be free of anger and anxiety and grief and instead be filled with lovingkindness.

It isn’t that I don’t long to explore the back roads of France or to see great dance performances, but I no longer feel those things in any way fulfill or define me.  What’s in my heart?  Have I been kind today?  When I’m on my deathbed will I be able to say, “I loved as well as I possibly could and I achieved a peaceful heart”?  If I have a bucket list, it includes only those steps that lead to that compassionate and loving heart.

Part 2 will explore the inner and outer aspects of us as they impact the world.

Magdalene’s Feast Day – The Inner Way of Mary Magdalene (redux)


Jamie’s exploration of the true Mary Magdalene is thoughtful and insightful.

Originally posted on Sophia's Children:

Mary Magdalene, by Leonardo DaVinci. Public domain image. Mary Magdalene, by Leonardo DaVinci. Public domain image.

July 22 is the historical feast day of St. Mary of Magdala, so it’s very fitting to share this updated post from the early days of Sophia’s Children.

Not that we need confine such celebrations and honorings to one day. After all, Wisdom is timeless, yes?

Who was Mary Magdalene, really?

And why is this question important at all given that we’re talking about a woman who lived 2,000 years ago, and about whom we have only slender references?

For quite a few years now, Mary Magdalene has been re-emerging strongly (along with Lilith and other feisty Divine Feminine exiles), and that’s usually a clue to pay attention to what’s arising since Life restores bits of Wisdom when the timing is vital to Life.

Such questions seem to arise in force when the answer is important to the times, it seems.

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Sunday Peace Time and Dungeon Prompt on Being Fierce

be peace not war


It’s time again to put aside at least 10 minutes to chant or pray or sing or hold ceremony for peace.  Check out the Collective Prayer Sundays page for more info.

This week’s Dungeon Prompt challenges us to describe a time of being fierce.  He asks that we tell the story vividly and mine is from so long ago I don’t remember enough to do that; not in the mood for waxing poetic in fiction…  But I thought I’d see what I can do.

What would be considered fierce for some could be unthinkable for others.  Many of us are so trapped in our ways that a simple uncharacteristic act of spontaneity is considered fearless by these standards.  Whatever be your measuring stick, think back at some of the more fierce acts of your life.  It doesn’t have to be a major turning event, but rather a time when you stepped up and did something uncharacteristic.  Or maybe you already lead an intensely independent life.  It could be a moment when you let your guard down and allowed someone else to take the lead.

Decide on one particular event.  Now, don’t just tell us about it; let us live it.  Lead us through the event like an adventure story.  Make us feel your struggle, or your renewal, your pain or your exuberance.  Let us live, through your words, the moment when you were fierce of heart.

In general I would say that fierceness as it’s meant here– in the sense of courage– is not a state of being that’s really me.  In hindsight, I’d say this whole spiritual journey, though, has required courage.  It just hasn’t felt that way to me because I’ve felt led to do it, pulled along with it most of the time.  But there’s also been a “fierce” determination to do whatever I had to in order to heal on every level–perhaps driven by the physical problems more than anything.

Always shy and inward and a habitual emotion swallower, perhaps the toughest aspect of the journey initially was confronting issues.  The idea of yelling or pounding pillows intimidated me.  So I struggled a bit with the segment of Nine Gates led by the late Ellen Margron, wherein participants were vehemently encouraged to scream and yell and pound (no longer part of the curriculum).

The next year I moved out to the Bay area and as my life seemed to spiral downward, many body workers and people around me seemed to be in a conspiracy to get me to realize I needed to release a lot of locked up stuff.  Many of my Nine Gates friends had gone on to do a session of the Fischer-Hoffman process with Ellen and I finally gave in and signed on.

Dragging my feet and inwardly quaking, I plunged into the world of exploring issues minutely and having sessions of yelling and pillow pounding.  Tentative at first, I slowly grew to appreciate the great sense of release and freedom that followed.  At the culminating point I enlisted a friend to help me with a session trying to release the underlying source of a pinched nerve in my neck that was more painful than anything I’ve ever felt.

That night something snapped open.  It turned out there were many lifetimes of injuries in that spot and I went through at least half a dozen as if the release was doing me instead of me doing the releasing.  She said my face and voice changed every time I moved to a new time and place. We were in her converted office/garage and as I screamed and cried, people came to the window to ask if they should call the police!

Several hours later, we wound up the session and kundalini flooded in–that years-long ride is a whole other story.  So much changed that night.  By then I felt at ease with release work and started sometimes helping Ellen facilitate release sessions.  Now I teach release techniques sometimes and demonstrate yelling, chopping, pounding, etc. without inhibition.  After the Fischer-Hoffman work ended I kept doing the process every time I ran into old unresolved issues.  Then several varieties of body work tended to hit issues and I’d cry or yell on the table (it DOES take having a practitioner you really trust) without a thought.

It kind of amazes me how many people resist that kind of work; often to the point of refusing to do it at all.  My whole life changed when I let go of so much past drama and trauma and a big piece of it was moving from the timid, self-conscious person who felt too afraid to dig that deep or reveal that much to the one who once stood in front of a whole inhibited class who ALL refused to do the techniques while I chopped and yelled and pounded with wild abandon.

Some people race into fires or jump out of airplanes and that kind of courage I don’t have.  In fact never sky diving has a place on my non-existent bucket list.  But I think it takes a different kind of fierceness to face the deeply buried beliefs, issues and traumas that most of us spend our lives trying to avoid.  When it came to that, I was fierce!