Unwinding update

It’s been a while since I’ve given an update on the unwinding muscles in my face and head. The process has been relentless for most of the last year, without regard to how many other things claimed time and attention (like my mother’s hospital and nursing home stays, etc.). And it’s been down at the core for so long I’ve regularly thought I’d be able to start posting the “Unwound” series I’ve long been planning.

But it’s still going. And it’s been more debilitatingly constant since my mother’s death than ever. It’s become so rare to sleep for an entire night, I can’t actually tell you the last time I did. The awe-inspiring part is feeling these granite-like ropes of muscle open and how blood and prana begin to flow in places where nothing has gone through for decades. Or looking across at a bookshelf or objects on the counter and realizing I’m seeing them more clearly at the distance I’m standing than ever.

The more the energy opens up, the more I’m connecting with the “inner voice” that I’ve blocked so long. The opening is also restoring a lot of energy flow. I’ve noted before how very much energy it takes both to hold onto those tight knots and twists and for blood, oxygen, prana, etc. to fight to find pathways through your body. So the more open I become the better I feel — especially helpful since I’m not getting nearly enough sleep.

Not surprising, all this shifting in my physical body, which has always related to both personal and ancestral issues, is creating some shifts in my life. And it feels like a big one is looming. Not just the fact that I’m moving to another state, something else feels large and near.

Such mixed feelings keep flowing through about leaving this town that’s not only been home longer than any other place I’ve lived, but has such deep ancestral roots for me. For a while I got strong messages indicating it’s time to let go and it may be better to live some place where I don’t have so many nostalgic childhood associations. Then a friend who has amazing abilities to tune in psychically said I’m corded here and I just need to let go of the cord. As soon as we hung up I threw up, accompanied by a strong sensation of letting go.

One of the teachings in the Fisher-Hoffman process I went through long ago is that the final piece of letting go of Mother is literally “throwing up mother”. I also felt strongly a letting go re: mom in that moment and that the cord my friend saw included her.

In the meantime I’m down to about 3 weeks before I’m aiming to move and I’m caught in the house with a ton of Mom’s stuff still here, estate sale places telling me nothing has enough value for them to do a sale, working madly to sort, dump, shred decades of paperwork she left behind, extract the belongings I want to take with me and get them packed, figure out handling the reverse mortgage people, choosing between U-Haul and moving company… and doing it all on way too little sleep accompanied by lots of buzzy, weird feelings and nausea and headaches all due to the wild unwinding muscles.

Fun times. Not…

The upside is through all of it I feel all of this transition from the loss of my mother to the loss of my home to starting over in a new place to finally reaching the end of an unbelievably long healing journey with my muscles is leading to the massively transformed life I’ve worked, shifted, transitioned toward for 37 years.

9 thoughts on “Unwinding update

  1. You have my love to you kind lady, our journeys do indeed build us but on some days you just want to go home…wherever that is on this crazy world. But, if we look back we know we have indeed grown and moved on from so much…so in that vein, in six months you will look back and be grateful of another very large notch in your love height meter. Best wishes, love and light for your neck, your home and your heart Leigh. May they all lighten, lift and love for your future soon. Good luck! πŸ˜€β€οΈπŸ™πŸ½

  2. I wish you a life even more fulfilling than your current imaginings! My heart goes out to you with your body not cooperating with much needed sleep. Astrologically you are heading towards a new period and it is likely that your focus will shift from family and home to creativity, fun, passion, and recreation ( and much more). I often wonder why life here is so arduous for most of us. The answer I receive is that it is designed to be, at least up to this point. Yet there is progress in your life and I am rooting for you. You deserve whatever you desire for your highest good.

    much love,

    Linda ❀

  3. Big goings on !! And you’re not alone in feeling big changes around the corner. Sending fortitude to get you through this transition period. I found that some healing happens more quickly or readily after our parents are gone… or isn’t ready to release until then. β€οΈπŸ™

  4. Oh I do feel for you Leigh. I get that this is an incredibly stressful time. At the same time I applaud you for your dedication to the inner work, you are indeed a mermaid. And celebrate that you’ll soon be off to a whole fresh start. Hang in there. One foot in front of the other.

    • Thanks. I do keep moving but wow, this is a lot. I’ve announced that once I finish emptying Dad’s stuff and get my things set up, I’m going to do nothing till New Year’s πŸ™‚

Please add your thoughts; love a good discussion!

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.