For a long time I’d see the advice, “don’t sweat the small stuff” and wonder what it really meant. I mean, okay, easy to get the idea that you shouldn’t waste your energy worrying about stuff that’s not important. But I come from a long line of people who think everything is worth worrying about. And I’m kind of a drama queen. So how do I decide what’s too small? I’ve noticed it seems to be a problem for a lot of people.
So I devised a test. I ask myself, “Will anybody die because of the doing or not doing or occurring or not occurring of this thing I’m worrying about?” And “will anybody be maimed or permanently impaired in some way by the wrong outcome?” I figure if the situation isn’t threatening to a life or adversely affecting the well-being of a living being, then it’s small stuff.
When a friend of mine started moving into full blown panic because “I HAVE TO HAVE THE FRONT YARD DECORATED FOR CHRISTMAS BY FRIDAY!”, I asked her, “will somebody die if you fail to meet the deadline?”
“Well, no,” she reluctantly admitted.
“Will anyone be permanently maimed or injured if the decorations don’t go up?” She laughed and agreed that against that standard she could relax. But she was a little stiff as she moved away and I never knew whether I really helped her calm down or angered her because I made the importance of decorating small. [From a right speech viewpoint I get that it’s OK for me to ask myself those questions but dodgy as right speech if I make someone else answer them…]
After many years of spiritual practices and lots of releasing the past, I’m far less easily moved to angst so my test doesn’t come up very often for me any more. And to be honest I’m not always mindful enough to remember to ask the questions on the rare occasions when something does wind me up. But I think giving myself that perspective was part of what helped me to find this place of greater serenity. I’m grateful I don’t much need it any more.
Related articles
- Don’t Sweat the small stuff….. Decide Just How Much Anxiety A Thing Is Worth (raymondkuceli.wordpress.com)
- Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff (collectionsofthoughts.wordpress.com)
Not Just Sassy on the Inside 
It does seem harder and harder to fret over minor matters and more and more things start to feel minor. Thanks, Namaste
So true. Thank you.
I like your attitude, and your writing.
Thanks for dropping by.
Keep not sweating.
Thank you. I’ll try.
Nice outlook. In my life I’ve found that as I get older, the less I get all tied up in knots over most everything. Must be the loss of those raging hormones.
Ha! Could be. I think age brings perspective too… possibly also due to hormones.
Thanks for stopping by my blog. Don’t know how you found it. I am about to decide on the cat over my husband, just because he said I couldn’t take him to Holland. I am glad for your input. I had come to the decision before you commented, it’s like a confirmation I needed.
so Jenny
I write pieces for AlphabeThursday and, of course, read 10 things from the list. I’ve seen a couple of yours now about the move and the cat. Sorry if it really has to come to that choice…
Over time I have learned not to worry about the things you cannot change. Being a cancer survivor it gives you a whole new outlook on life and not to sweat the “small” stuff.
I suppose that’s one of the blessings of a serious illness, bringing things into perspective. Thanks for the insight.
Well, I like your perspective, but in reality, the small stuffs add up to a mountain if not addressed.
I sweat the small stuffs first, and forget about it later..
Why does addressing them mean you have to sweat?
Yesss this has been a lesson I have learned in these recent years. To trust in Life/Source and to let go of worry and stress aka small stuff. Trusting that it will all work out no matter how it may look to the mind at first. Like you said changing your perception. This simple shift can make hell turn into heaven. Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece. 🙂
Just to let you know, I saw that you are subscribed to my blog, freedom from ashes. If you still want updates, please subscribe again. I have changed hosting so you no longer will get updates until you sub again. Thanks 🙂 My site is going through a Spring metamorphosis right now.
Have a beautiful weekend. And keep shining!
I try it this way: will this matter in three days? in three weeks? in three years? It’s amazing how many things you really can let go of – like outcomes.
Sounds like another good sorting device.