Shifting and the winds of change: Part 1

The more my eyes loosen up and my jaw opens, the more I feel a breeze quietly moving through my being.  Although my eye is still mainly on the prize — finishing the unwinding head saga–I can feel that the shifting in my head is creating shifts in me.

Lately I’ve been feeling poked as tales of similar workshops and theories have been coming at me from many directions.  Within a couple of days of one another there were posts on Alohaleya and Aligning with Truth mentioned Landmark Forum, which led me to examine that course.  Louise at Dare Boldly has written about Choices Seminars many times and I’ve examined their site.   I noticed that both of them emphasize “story” — an examination of the stories you’ve created about life and who you are and that you adhere to regardless of their truth or efficacy.

Then I had lunch with a friend who told me about a webinar she’s been taking that’s about discovering/examining your stories and letting them go.  Okay, Universe, you don’t have to hit me over the head with a book about it, I get that this is something I need to explore.

Tonight I made my first visit to the monthly Spiritual Cinema group that meets at a Science of Mind-based center called Ahava.  The film was The Shift.  When Wayne Dyer talked about the morning of life and getting caught in the beliefs and decisions we made long ago it struck me that he was also talking about the stories we’ve created.  Apparently my higher self has decided that I need to hear about this daily…

So I’ve been starting to ask myself about what my stories are.  I’ve let go of so much, I know that lots of old stories don’t still function.  But I know there are core issues still hanging around and that those are the ones that are hardest to see; I’m intrigued whether some of these workshops/techniques would help me uncover more.

It also reminded me of the long ago transpersonal psychologist who started me down this path.  She worked from a base theory about creating your own reality.  One of the exercises we worked with a lot was to go into meditation asking, “What do I believe that created this reality?” and then ask to be taken back to when and where that belief started.

At some point  I’d like to attend either Choices or Landmark Forum or both, but in the meantime, I’m planning to work a little bit with what I already know and see what shows up.

I’ve also been encountering lots of messages–including a great post on Brenda’s Blog— about following the things you love and getting that those are the things you’re “meant” to do.  And realizing that I’ve been tending to dismiss the dreams I love the most — the ones that feel the most like me but also feel selfish or not spiritual enough, etc.  Which I get is a story I’ve created….  So I’m also looking at changing goals and aspirations.

Next couple of posts will be more on these winds of change..

Chant, Pray, Be Peace

Collective Prayer Sundays:  In case you’re new, we’re finding 10 minutes at a minimum to pray or chant or meditate (or???) for peace every Sunday.  Details are on the CPS page.  For comments:  you can comment here or on that page or you can go to the Facebook page.

Changing mental patterns

Scenes of Inner Taksang, temple hall, built ju...

Scenes of Inner Taksang, temple hall, built just above the cave where Padmasambhava meditated (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I read a thoughtful post by Tracie Carlos today about complaining and shifting your thoughts.  I think a lot about mental patterns.  I come from long lines of worriers/complainers on both sides of my family.  Among many of them I think they actually feel that’s what’s interesting and I definitely imprinted the pattern in the core of me.  It’s been one of the toughest things in all these years of working on “creating reality” or Law of Attraction.

While I agree with Tracie that we can change our minds, I have yet to make a complete shift.  It isn’t that I don’t sincerely want to be positive in my thoughts but I’ve never figured out how to completely break the pattern.  I’ve made huge inroads.  Meditation has helped a lot.  Affirmations have helped a lot.  Mindfulness has helped a lot though I’ve never become so consistently mindful that I’m monitoring my thoughts at all times.  Gratitude practice is also a boon.

One thing I’ve been up to for about a year-and-a-half–sporadically–has been looping a playlist of Dick Sutphen’s affirmation recordings in the background (i.e. so softly it’s almost subliminal) on the computer that’s either in my lap or sitting next to me a great deal of the time.  I wandered away from it for quite a while and a few weeks ago realized that I’d been forgetting to put it on.  This time I could really tell what a difference it made in my general thinking to have all those positive messages streaming for eight or ten hours a day.  See below for another post I wrote about it.

I have the list on Spotify, so you can check it out to see if it helps you.  

With all the various practices I’ve improved.  And I can now catch myself pretty quickly and shift my thoughts in a more positive direction.  But I’ve never stopped the negative thoughts from arising.

I still don’t have a formula that guarantees a change of mental patterns and I seriously don’t get how some people seem to just flip a switch and become positive thinkers.  Have to admit I wonder if all the thoughts in their heads are as positive as what they say out loud…  I know I’m not alone in having ingrained childhood patterns plus generations of cellular memory adding up to deep mental patterns of worry, complaining and negativity.  Has anyone else figured out some great way to shift all that?  And no, lobotomy doesn’t count :>)  Do you have one thing that does it for you or is it a combination?

Managing Manna: part two

Rush hour on US Route 101 through Millbrae, Ca...

Rush hour on US Route 101 through Millbrae, California. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Serge King likes to tell stories.  The second important thing I learned about manna arrived with a story that I’ve never forgotten.  His wife, he told us, doesn’t like to drive in slow, congested traffic conditions like rush hour.  She could spend hours a day for years building a level of manna that would be enough to overcome the powerful beliefs of hundreds of thousands of other drivers about what happens at rush hour.  She could do that and hope to build enough energy to some day be able to create a clear flow for her car to move swiftly through the city at rush hour.  Instead, she doesn’t drive at rush hour.

Just because the “thoughts create reality” theory implies that you can use your thoughts to do anything doesn’t mean that it should always be your choice to focus your energy on changing/shifting/magnetizing something.  Realistically even if you do practice to build manna, you still have a given level and vibrational tone.  It’s unlikely that you’re going to build a level of energy that will let you stop hurricanes, alter the flow of traffic, magnetize the lottery, release old beliefs, attract a better relationship and change careers to be successful at another.

Sometimes you have to choose which things in life are worth focusing your energy on and which have some other solution or can be left alone.

I find a great relief at times in realizing that I have to stick within the limits of my energy.  Sometimes when I mention a thought pattern that’s clearly negative or mildly detrimental in some way, someone will imply that I should be using affirmations or will or something to shift it.  Like most people, though, my life is filled with thought patterns from my past, from ancestral threads, from past lives.  I don’t have the energy to change every pattern at once.  I tell them I’m working on as many issues as I feel I can handle and that one just isn’t high enough on the priority list for me to focus energy and attention on it now.

On bigger things it’s easier for me to see.  I like moderately warm, sunny days with low humidity.  In California that weather predominated.  Here in Kentucky, not so much; in fact kind of rare.  Now I could practice chi gung a few hours a day to build manna/chi to the immense level I’d need to impact the weather patterns here.  But I live with the weather that’s here.  I don’t have to give it much thought to know that I’m not going to spend years working that hard just to have different weather.  If it meant that much to me, I could move back to California.

Not only do you need to have a level of manna that is at least as high as the level of what you’re trying to shift or change, but you also have to make choices about what you want to use your manna for.

Another example from Serge helped to illustrate that:  if you are making $500 a month and you decide you want to magnetize a $50 million lottery, you might spend your lifetime to do it.  The gap between the energy you’re holding that draws only $500 and the giant lottery is so immense it’s unlikely to happen.  But if you’re making $500 and you start affirming that you now make $1000, that’s a small build that is believable to your consciousness and in line with the amount of manna you have.  Then when you get the $1000 if you focus on $2000, this step by step process is likely to work.  Substitute whatever element of life you want instead of money and the step by step process is similar.

When I realized that my low energy had a big impact I could see that building my energy and restoring my health were the necessary first steps for me to build to the career and life I see for myself.

Do you consciously choose where to focus your energy?

See last post for part one.

Chanting for Peace … and Rara

My blog’s word cloud

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to Rara’s situation.  I’ve been enough of a protester, radical, change-the-world person that on one level I still have the knee-jerk reaction to be angry.  To shake my fist and despise her accusers.  And I do have questions about what it costs to get the DA to put someone in jail without an investigation; hard to imagine there’s not corruption there.

But I also believe that being angry and stomping around is not the way to get to peace.  Since a world of peace and a life of peace are my number one goals it feels crucial for me to find a more peaceful path of dealing with this.  It’s been easy to fall into being angry at the DA or Rara’s former boss or to a system that lets this kind of injustice happen.  But I keep drawing myself back and meditating on peace.

I’m so grateful that there are people working on fundraising and donating art, etc.  I also deeply believe that our prayers and loving thoughts have more power than we always realize.  I’ve seen so many miracles arise from people sending love instead of hate, prayer instead of curses.

So as we prepare for another Collective Prayer Sunday, I want to invite everyone not only to chant or pray for peace on Earth today, but to begin a daily practice in which you send loving thoughts or Reiki or chant the lovingkindness chant for the DA and the accusers in Rara’s case.  Let’s keep it up until something changes or is resolved.  At the least it will help you find peace in your heart.  And wrapping those people in love could change them.  What do you say?  Willing to try it with me?

Collective Prayer Sundays:  In case you’re new, we’re finding 10 minutes at a minimum to pray or chant or meditate (or???) for peace every Sunday.  Details are on the CPS page.  For comments:  you can comment here or on that page or you can go to the Facebook page.

More Crystal Bed Revelations

I had my second experience of the John of God crystal bed today (see video below for more info).  Although the energy again felt powerful, the main take away once more was a profound inner dialogue; has me thinking it’s produced by the energy.

The unwinding head bit has been particularly wild lately so I’m very sleep deprived and that generally seems to leave me feeling more down than usual about all of this.  In the place of wondering, “What am I doing wrong?”, I noted first that tendency so many of us have to assume that fixes should be quick.  And the corollary is that if something takes a long time it means you’re doing something wrong, or not enough of the right thing or doing the right thing wrong.  I resent when other people take that tone about my long healing process, but I hadn’t quite taken in until today how much I do that to myself.

Anyway, somewhere on the verge of despair, I asked if John of God could hear me, contact me, tell me something.  It took a while but once I’d moved into a deeper space I started seeing images of the various times that healers and teachers have told me I’m a much more powerful entity than I realize. It’s come up so many times you’d think my head would be the size of a house but on some level I don’t ever believe them or fear it would be wrong to believe them.   Even when a friend took my picture to John of God, his only comment was, “Tell her she has very powerful guides.”  His comment was part of the “slide show” that went by today.  “But I don’t feel them,” I cried, “can’t you do something that lets me know they’re there?”

His answer was that I will feel them when I feel my own light and understand its power.  Then he gave me an affirmation to repeat to myself as often as possible until I feel it, “My heart is open to the love of God.”   To my core I could feel that is the key.  And it struck me it’s probably a message a lot of people could use.  I’m very interested in any stories you all have to tell about how that might apply to you or be useful to you.

I was very tiny when I gave up on God. In my head I believe in God but I occasionally note that on some deep level I still don’t feel She’s there for me.  Other issues in time led me to make  myself small and I tried not to be noticed.  Much of this journey has been a slow movement from a chrysalis locked in the world’s most secure vault to spreading my wings.  But the idea of being “big” or particularly powerful is still hard for me.  That lack of faith and that need to be small are issues that seem to intertwine (back to THAT again!).

This affirmation feels like a good healing potion for both.  MY HEART IS OPEN TO THE LOVE OF GOD!

Check out the Healing Journey page (tab is at top of page) for more about my journey to health.

This week’s challenge and more

English: Photograph of Deva Premal. Copyright ...

English: Photograph of Deva Premal. Copyright owned by Prabhu Music, available here: (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Last weekend I issued a challenge to say the lovingkindness chant for Rara and her accusers.  I’ve been combining the chanting with my daily chants from the Deva Premal series and loving it.

I’ve also been finally exploring a few things in social media that I’ve been putting off learning.  So I’ve pretty much figured out Google Hangouts (till I try it I won’t know for sure).  Thinking about Rara and the chanting, I wondered if anyone would be interested in joining me on Hangouts Saturday night in chanting for Rara and her accusers.  I thought 10 p.m. EST.  If I’m understanding correctly it’s limited to nine people and I think that includes me.  Let me know if you’re interested and I’ll get it set up.

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Brrr…again… Cycling up and down

Last Thursday I attended a lovely spring equinox gathering at which we sat outside around a fire.  It was a little too cold for my comfort but it was bearable enough to be out for over an hour and lovely to be out for a change.  Today I can hardly see across the street because it is snowing so hard. In Michigan and Chicago that was not so unusual but here in Kentucky I don’t expect it and especially not in late March when we usually are looking at the early spring blooming things.

I’ve watched my mood go up and down a bit as we’ve lurched back and forth between 70 and 40 and spring-like and wintry.  While I’m also aware that I can choose to hold a calm space that isn’t affected by the weather, I’ve let the moods ebb and flow.  Seems to me life is kind of like that.  I don’t mind a little ebbing and flowing.  Sometimes equanimity feels a little dull to me.  Still, I’m grateful that all the years and all the practices mean I can enjoy watching some ebb and flow without letting it take me over.

But right now, waaahhh!  Freaking snow…

Peaceful Sunday Time

Hope you find some time to pray or chant for peace today.  Yep.  Time again to find 10 minutes.  Don’t forget about the challenge to gather with others to pray for peace..

Collective Prayer Sundays:  In case you’re new, we’re finding 10 minutes at a minimum to pray or chant or meditate (or???) for peace every Sunday.  Details are on the CPS page.  For comments:  you can comment here or on that page or you can go to the Facebook page.


Peace symbol for CPS

Get ready to chant, pray, meditate, dance, do ceremony… for peace!  Do you have 10 minutes for peace?  Every Sunday.  10 minutes.

Collective Prayer Sundays:  In case you’re new, we’re finding 10 minutes at a minimum to pray or chant or meditate (or???) for peace every Sunday.  Details are on the CPS page.  For comments:  you can comment here or on that page or you can go to the Facebook page.

Turning to Sochi

By Xiaowei on Wikimedia

I’m a big winter Olympics fan — mostly because the one sport I follow faithfully is figure skating.  So, little though I’ve been posting recently, you may see even less of me for the next two weeks because there’s skating and ski-jumping to watch, stories of triumph and tragedy to be told and I’m going to be glued to it!

If you want to feel spirit soaring across the ice I highly recommend that you watch the performances of Davis and White in Ice Dance.

Aliveness arriving

by Laurie Rohner

You can buy the above watercolor here.  While you’re at the site, check out Laurie’s other work.

Those of you who’ve been following me for a while know that I’ve been going through a long process involving the muscles in my face and head unwinding  They started out with every strand of every muscle wound up like steel, muscles glued to one another and interconnecting patterns holding everything frozen.  The last few months have been pretty trying, with lots of sleepless nights and headaches due to the constant yanking and pulling in my head.  I’ve struggled often to try to find the space of gratitude and equanimity in the midst of all that.

Like the sliver of daylight at dawn’s horizon I’ve been slowly feeling various areas of my face light up with life.  The muscles have been so tightly wound that much of my face and head have been literally numb for so long I don’t remember what it’s like to have a normal head.  It’s taken a long time but I’ve finally reached the point where each time a segment of muscle opens I can feel blood and energy flow into that new place.  Sometimes my head feels like it’s buzzing with energy from what I’m guessing is a normal flow of blood and prana that I’ve not experienced since early childhood.

I’ve been realizing that this very tangible physical opening reflects the less tangible process of spiritual opening.  I’ve often found it a struggle to decide whether I’ve opened up as far as some issue or shifted my energy after doing a practice.  From many conversations and much reading of blogs I gather that for many people the spiritual journey often feels like feeling your way through the dark and not being quite sure whether you’ve accomplished anything or not.  So with ever growing gratitude I now see this long slow process of opening my body as a gift that allows me to feel the opening and awakening as a palpable thing.  Every time a strand of muscle opens and lets light and energy flow through I see that that’s what happens on other levels when I release an old issue or do a practice that shifts my energy.

Somewhere in this lesson I feel there’s something I’m supposed to offer to others or use to help others on the journey and I’m also grateful to be of service though not sure exactly how this will look.  In the meantime I feel a bit like Sleeping Beauty being awakened, but this time it’s the Divine Leigh waking up the Numb and Sleeping Leigh…

The light in me grows stronger every day.  Thank you God, thank you God and so it is!

Collective Prayer Sundays:  In case you’re new, we’re finding 10 minutes at a minimum to pray or chant or meditate (or???) for peace every Sunday.  Details are on the CPS page.  For comments:  you can comment here or on that page or you can go to the Facebook page.

Working with energy

Another old post, with some tweaks, about energy.  I’ll expand a little bit about the three practices in another post.

A few years ago — 20 some years into struggling with chronic fatigue and the twisted muscles issue — I hit a new phase in understanding the “energy-ness” of being.  It occurred to me that maybe instead of massages and acupuncture and supplements, I should work on balancing and raising energy.

I reviewed the many practices I’d learned over 20+ years of workshops and classes and chose three:  (1) the Eight Key Breaths; (2) the Five Tibetan Rites; and (3) Flying Crane Chi Gung.  I picked the Key Breaths because they build a strong energy — enough to start pushing open closed spaces — and they raise vibrational level too.  The Five Tibetan Rites are very balancing and they address the endocrine system which has been one of my major problem areas.  Flying Crane Chi Gung also balances energy, but specifically it — like other forms of Chi Gung and Tai Chi, etc. — builds chi, or prana.

In 2008 I began doing those three practices.  The Key Breaths I did pretty faithfully every day.  With the Rites and Flying Crane I tended often to do one or the other every day but I tried to do all three practices.  What a difference!   In fairness, over this period I was also regularly practicing the routines I’ve designed (and been teaching) combining triggers of release from Robert Masters’ Psychophysical Method with traditional yoga and receiving amazing Body Patterning treatments, both of which are clearly contributors.

The process of healing until that point was incredibly slow.  I give a lot of credit to the effects of the energy changing practices.  As my muscles return to normal I’m much more able to feel nuances of what the practices do and I feel their power ever more.  I can feel the powerful force of the Key Breaths pushing on blocked places.  I can feel how much my chi has improved.  I can feel the balancing effects of each practice and that there are subtle differences in each.  I’ll never know how things would have gone without the Body Patterning and the exercises, but  I think that building and balancing the energy changed everything.
See also

When I started practicing kundlini yoga a couple of years ago my focus shifted and the other three practices became more sporadic though I keep up with the Key Breaths pretty well.  For some months I kept being told in meditation that I should go back to the three energy practices but I love the kundalini yoga so much I took my time.  Recently during some inward shifts I just naturally felt it was the moment and those practices are becoming my routine again.  Every time I return to them after opening some more I appreciate even more how much they do to heal, build energy, and balance.

Happy Holidays and Time to Pray for Peace

Peace symbol for CPS



I didn’t really intend to take time off this week but somehow I just couldn’t pull it together to write a post.

Had a lovely, quiet Christmas.  Hope all of you have enjoyed whatever variety of celebration you’ve had for whatever occasion.

I also hope every one of you knows you’re loved and the Universe supports you in your every endeavor!

Collective Prayer Sundays:  In case you’re new, we’re finding 10 minutes at a minimum to pray or chant or meditate (or???) for peace every Sunday.  Details are on the CPS page.  For comments:  you can comment here or on that page or you can go to the Facebook page.

Chant for Peace Day!

Peace symbol for CPSI’m seriously off schedule lately so Friday I almost put up the Collective Prayer Sundays post, then realized it was too soon.  Yesterday it never crossed my mind that it was the day for it.

Oh well, here it is at last :>)

Collective Prayer Sundays:  In case you’re new, we’re finding 10 minutes at a minimum to pray or chant or meditate (or???) for peace every Sunday.  Details are on the CPS page.  For comments:  you can comment here or on that page or you can go to the Facebook page.