J2P Monday: Ancestors, Healing and Forgiveness

The Reiki Distance Healing symbol Honshazeshon...

The Reiki Distance Healing symbol (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

On my last J2P Monday post I wrote about ancestors and suggested that you look for patterns among your known family and in your ancestral lineages.  This time I’m going to suggest some means of healing ancestral issues.  Once you’ve healed, the final crucial step is forgiveness.

When I started discovering ancestral issues and working on healing them, I found I needed some different tools (or maybe just extra tools) than I’d used for hunting down and releasing my personal issues.  I wound up using an array, all of which helped, none of which worked alone.

1.  I started off just sending love and healing thoughts back up the line.

2.  At a friend’s suggestion I took the second degree Reiki class so I could learn the distance healing technique with which you can send energy through time as well as space.  Then I often sent Reiki.

3.  I gathered a group of friends for a ceremony.  We resonated into heart space, talked about our family patterns, then formed a circle.  Each person took a turn sitting in the middle while everyone else did Reiki or other healing for the ancestors.  We finished with saying the lovingkindness chant for the ancestors for a half hour.  We felt the presence of hundreds or thousands of ancestors join us.

In the next couple of weeks there were a number of stories from the group:  someone’s father checked himself into rehab, estranged sisters made up, other family rifts were solved.

4.  I created a ceremony to cut ties with one particular ancestor.

5.  I did some CranioSacral work with a practitioner who was willing and able to work with the ancestral issue.  During one of our sessions she recommended the next practitioner, Osunnike.

6.  Osunnike is not only a Reiki master but has studied Native American and African healing traditions.  There are many healers from shamanic traditions that deal with ancestral issues so ask around wherever you are and see if there’s someone near you.

7.  I said the lovingkindness chant for my ancestors often.

I still have a bit of work to do on the final piece, which is forgiveness.  In the Fischer Hoffman work, the final piece was essentially about forgiveness and Ellen always told us the process wasn’t complete unti there was forgiveness.

It took a long time for that to sink all the way in with me but I’ve come to understand how crucial that finishing touch is.  Because forgiveness is never about the other person or people and what they did or didn’t do.  It’s about you.  Forgiveness is the moment when you let go of what happened in the past and choose to live in the now.

You can choose not to forgive.  But that also means you’re choosing to let whatever happened in the past influence your present and your future.  It means you choose anger over love and compassion.  And you get to make that choice, but be conscious you are making it.  If you want to move on, free of the fetters of the past, you need to forgive.

I found with the ancestral piece it helped me to say the lovingkindness chant for them for a while.  The chant often transforms my feelings about people with whom I have issues.  Then, if there are residual feelings, it’s easier to forgive.

I chose to create a forgiveness ceremony to finish it off.  I wrote some prayers and chose some chants and created a circle in which to perform it.  I like a ritual to bring focus and intention.  but there are so many ways to work on it.  Just find the way that works for you.

I’d love it if some of you would work on figuring out these familial patterns and work on healing then either leave a comment here telling us about it or write a post and link it to this post.  Maybe just start with one and go through the whole process and then share about what happened.

Forgiveness Project update

Microsoft clipart MP900399589

Microsoft clipart MP900399589

I haven’t forgotten my forgiveness project but I’m just now starting to feel that I’ve integrated the first round.  Sometime in the next few days I plan to do the next person on my list.  As before, 1-3 days of lovingkindness chant and, when that feels complete, I’ll do the forgiveness ceremony I created.

And, I’m delighted to announce that Louise from Dare Boldly is going to write a post about forgiveness sometime next week, so check — I can already tell you you’ll love whatever she writes!

Forgiveness interrupted

English: Tympanum of Door of Forgiveness, Cath...

Tympanum of Door of Forgiveness, Cathedral of Toledo, Spain (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

By Tuesday night I just felt too tired to even try chanting or doing the ceremony.  I realized–not for the first time–that my tendency is to decide it’s time to accomplish a project like this and to keep relentlessly pushing through no matter how it feels.

Now, it’s possible there’s some kind of resistance to forgiving this person.  But I’ve done a lot of softening and healing about this one in recent years so I don’t think that’s it.

Many times during this journey I’ve kept releasing or shifting without a break when a wiser path might have been to take some time out to absorb what I’d already done.  Eventually something happens that stops me in my tracks and “makes” me chill for a while until my energy catches up with itself.

The first eight days of forgiveness shifted a LOT of material for me.  While it’s hard not to follow through on what I set out to do in the time frame I put on it, right now I feel I need a little break and I’d prefer not to have to catch the flu or sprain an ankle to get the integration time I need.

I plan to return to the work for this person in a day or two and then I’ve decided to do the rest of the list on more like a once a week or two basis.  I like the idea of completing one and resting with it, letting it settle before moving on to another.  I’ll keep posting about it as I move along.

Round of Forgiveness Days 10 and 11

Laurie Rohner

Thanks to Laurie Rohner for permission to use her pictures.  Check out more of her lovely art here.

For the first time in a few weeks the muscles around my eyes and deep in my jaw yanked away a good bit of sleep. I tried to do the chanting for the next person on my list (living, so no name) but I find when I’m really exhausted it’s very hard to sustain any kind of focus.  I did chant both times but didn’t feel much impact other than the struggle to stay awake.

I did note that while my issues with this person run very deep I can’t recall that I’ve ever initiated any kind of forgiveness process.  Simultaneously I felt that this is overdue and possibly that I’m not completely ready to do it.

Still, at one point each time I felt a higher self to higher self connection and that on that level there was great appreciation for the chanting.  Now I’m on the fence about whether to continue on to the ceremony tonight or to try chanting again–hopefully with more focus.

On another note, I am saddened to hear that Ajaytao of Ajaytao 2010 has passed away.  I’ll miss seeing all those lovely photos in my reader every day.  RIP Ajay…

More on forgiveness

"Forgiveness 5" by Carlos Latuff.

“Forgiveness 5” by Carlos Latuff. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today’s post is from Barbara of Me, My Magnificent Self.   Check here to read her insightful thoughts about forgiveness.  And, if you’ve missed any of the others, you can find them here:  Susan at the Almost Daily Thread, Sindy at Blue Butterflies and Me, Julianne atThrough a Peacock’s Eyes, Karen at Our Enchanting Adventure and Nadine at Aligning with Truth.

My project is continuing until the 14th and I will be posting more about the forgiveness project I’ve been working on. This is the last guest post I’ve lined up (unless someone else wants to volunteer!).  Thanks so much to all of you who participated.  You dug deep and gave us all so much to think about and I’m SO grateful!

Round of Forgiveness Day 8

Hamburg Place in grandparents’ day

Yesterday was one of those tired, head-achy days that leave me wishy-washy so I spent the day indecisive about whether to chant again for my aunt or to perform the forgiveness ceremony.

In a way, indecisiveness won.  It eventually got so late while I tried to finish some other business and make up my mind that I chose to chant because it would take far less time than the ceremony and I wanted to sleep.

The chanting turned out to be lovely.  For part of it I felt my high self communing with her spirit and a sense of sweet connection.  When they turned off life support for her I was the only one who chose to sit with her.  As I softly sang Surely the Presence I felt her spirit leave and for a short time I felt that same sense of communion.

As I’ve noted before, the communion that first time didn’t last.  With help from Nadine’s post I realize that I’ll always remember the bad stuff but now I also remember the connection and I’ll keep moving back to that.  Several practitioners have felt her presence as they worked on me and felt she wanted to help and heal our relationship.  I wasn’t ready to do it then but I feel myself moving into a healing space about her.

Looking forward to sealing it with the forgiveness ceremony tonight.

Note:  the picture connects to my aunt, Mary Jane Gallaher, because she was long-time friends with the original owner’s grandson, Preston, who ran the farm for many years.  Since my grandfather trained, bred, and raced horses through all the years John Madden was involved I imagine they knew one another.

Round of Forgiveness Day 3

"Forgiveness 6" by Carlos Latuff.

“Forgiveness 6” by Carlos Latuff. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Tomorrow’s post on forgiveness will be from Julianne at Through a Peacock’s Eyes and it’s her birthday!  If you haven’t read them yet, the first posts were from Susan at the Almost Daily Thread and Sindy at Blue Butterflies and Me.  I’m still looking for people to write posts about forgiveness for Aug. 7-13.  If you don’t have a blog you can get your post to me (let me know and we’ll organize) and I’ll put it on this blog with any links you want to web site, etc.  500-1000 words.  Preferably a personal experience regarding forgiveness.

I didn’t get around to making the circle and setting up until VERY late so my best intentions for performing the ceremony and then posting went out the window…

It’s been such a long time since I’ve created a circle or done ceremony, it felt SO good to sit there again!  I’ve had a lot of discussions lately about knowing what’s good for you or makes you feel better and not doing it…  Some other post to come will speculate about that one.  I hadn’t smudged the room in ages and that alone shifted something for me.

Toward the end I realized with a chuckle that all my opening stuff to set the space and build and raise my energy takes far more of the ceremony time than the small spell that’s the real point.  But the impact of that spell is so much more powerful for me when I’ve spent all that time to lay the foundation.

As usual, I don’t have some magical shift event to report.  No screaming entities lifting from me and flying from the room, no massive insight or magnificent visions.  But boy I sure felt great.  Since I opened the Akashic Records before the Clearing Vows and Contracts (see ceremony script here) phase, I lounged in the circle when I finished (soaking up the energy) and asked the Record Keepers whether I’d succeeded.  Without great surprise I received the information that the forgiveness process successfully completed the day before when my heart shifted while chanting.

During the chanting I felt the ancestor witch being very touched/moved to have someone chanting lovingkindness for her.  Good lesson that concepts like forgiveness can be carried out in many ways — not necessarily the way you think it “should”.  I felt that the ceremony wrapped something up for me and I also feel that I seriously needed all that chanting and energy building and being reminded how powerful all that is for me.

Thoughts on Forgiveness Day 1

"Forgiveness 7" by Carlos Latuff.

“Forgiveness 7” by Carlos Latuff. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

First, the forgiveness post for today (Aug. 2) is on Susan’s blog, The Almost Daily Thread.  Be sure to check it out!

This whole forgiveness thing started when Julianne at Through the Peacock’s Eyes got a download of insights while reading one of my posts.  She felt I needed to forgive the ancestor who put a curse on my whole maternal lineage.

Once I started thinking about forgiveness I felt that there were more people with whom I have unresolved issues and decided to do this two week Round of Forgiveness.  Initially I thought I’d finish with that ancestor witch but ultimately I decided that since she’s the main reason for this process I should start with her.

I started today with a version of Mornah’s/Ho’oponpono Prayer that I love:

Divine Creator, Mother, Father, Son as One, I, _____ (your name), wish to do ho’oponopono between myself and ____ (fill in the person you wish to forgive or with whom you wish to cut cords of negative energy).  Cleanse, sever, cut, release and transmute to the path of pure light.  HA!  MAHIKI!  We are set free and it is done.

I want to cut “aka” cords –cords of energy that bind people– before I do each forgiveness ceremony so that I’m clear of underlying issues.  I’ve found forgiveness doesn’t stick if there are still unresolved issues.  This prayer is generally associated with forgiveness, so I feel it fits very well.

Then I chanted the lovingkindness chant for her for half an hour.  As always I could feel my heart begin to soften.  I want that softening before I do the ceremony so that I can take the forgiveness deeper.  I feel that when I still hold a hard place in my heart, forgiveness can’t get all the way in.

My plan right now is to repeat the same exercises tomorrow and to do my ceremony on Sunday but I’m leaving the timing loose so I can see whether I feel ready to move to completion with the ceremony or if I need to do more cutting cords and softening.

Dates that are still open for forgiveness posts:  Aug.  4, and 7-13.  See original post for info.

A round of forgiveness posts?

cloud for bluegrass blogIn yesterday’s post I invited participation in making posts about forgiveness, but at the end of the post.  Thought I’d reiterate with the invitation as the only piece. I’m going to do a bunch of forgiveness work Aug. 1-14.  I’d love to have you write a post on one of those days about your experience of forgiveness.  Whether you want to participate in forgiveness practices with me for those two weeks and write about it or tell a past story about forgiveness or lack of it is up to you.

  1. sign up for one of the dates Aug. 1-14 — Aug. 5 is taken and I will do Aug. 14
  2. write the post and put it up on YOUR blog
  3. link to this post:  https://bluegrassnotes.wordpress.com/2014/07/21/a-round-of-forgiveness/

Each day I’ll put up a link here to that day’s post.