Anger in the air

Screaming it out

In a recent post I alluded to experiencing some irritability lately and the first couple of days of this week had me at such high levels of feisty and cranky I’ve been doing some contemplating.

The orange man held a rally here in town on Monday and I’m pretty sure some of it was me picking up on the great numbers of angry people who converged here to attend and the angst of those who opposed and gathered outside in protest.  Now that the election is over, I’m much calmer so I’d say that was a lot of it.

But since anger was a big issue in my early inner explorations and a lot of the processing work I did during the Fischer-Hoffman Process* involved releasing huge amounts, I try to stay aware if I think another issue seems to be surfacing.  I did the Fischer Hoffman 1992-93 and for I’d say 10 years after, every time I unearthed an issue with angst attached I used “the process”, identifying the source and pounding pillows, etc.

Without intending to, I drifted away from doing it and most of the release in the last 15 years or so has been at the agency of body work therapists and/or me using the triggers of release work and opening something up.  When I first encountered Ellen, the F-H facilitator, at Nine Gates during third chakra work, we used some techniques Gay Luce added, which she called “emotional hygiene”.

I used to do those off and on as well, my favorite being one where you take a somewhat wide stance, clasp your hands, inhale and hold your breath, and then raise and lower your hands while bending forward as if you were chopping big logs with an axe.  You keep swinging for as long as you can possibly hold your breath.  Then exhale and repeat as necessary. It’s a great way to shake some of the daily irritants of life and, if something is bubbling up, it is also really effective at getting it to the surface.

Remembering the work has me thinking it would be good to incorporate the chopping on some regular basis and also exploring whether I feel a round of the process is in order.  I know that besides picking up on community energies, the current round of muscle releases in my head is off-loading some old and/or ancestral and/or past life issues locked in for most of my life.

Most of the time I try to look at this long healing road as a good thing, both (1) from the standpoint of being freed of physical pain and problems and (2) especially for healing the emotional issues lurking beneath.  But I’m realizing there’s a level on which I’m pretty angry about the huge disruption in my life this has caused for YEARS, especially the precarious financial situation in which it has left me.

So I’m thinking it’s time to dust off the process tools — as best I can remember them now 🙂 — and plan a session.  And some chopping.  Definitely some chopping.

The return to lovingkindness chanting is definitely also helping but since these bouts of temper keep arising in between rounds of chanting I’m feeling the anger needs to be addressed.  Disappointing to be back to this, yet I also know every bit of clearing any one of us does contributes to lifting the anger out of the Oneness, so I feel committed.

*Ellen, having been a facilitator for many years had devised a deeper and longer version.  The original process, now called the Quadrinity Method, is still around but not the same as her work.  Since her death, as far as I know there is no one doing her variation.

10 thoughts on “Anger in the air

  1. I will be interested to do a little research into these methods. For me, I am feeling a LOT of ancestral energy right now (officially, Samhain is November 7, when the veil between worlds is thinnest). Sometimes I wonder how much of my behavior is some weird acting out of a closely held loved one who has passed over and how much of it is me. Of course, I never really hit on that idea until I read “Dreaming the Soul Back Home” where the author suggested that many of our addictions find their source in dead loved-ones still clinging to us. Interesting concept, if nothing else.

    Thanks again for sharing your journey!

    • Yes, these ancestral things are SO interesting. I’ve been working with it mostly a la David Bohm and Rupert Sheldrake’s work on body/muscle patterns that carry on for generations. The book sounds interesting.

  2. A metaphor I once heard for the healing and recovery (whatever it may be: trauma, addiction…) process is like traveling around and up a mountain. You may cross the same part of the mountain, vertically/linear, but you’re at a different elevation, in slightly different terrain, with a different perspective, looking out & down. So, it isn’t a fault or sign of something missed, but a sign of growth experienced and ready to grow into the next level.

  3. “But I’m realizing there’s a level on which I’m pretty angry about the huge disruption in my life this has caused for YEARS, especially the precarious financial situation in which it has left me.” This is the sentence that really jumped out at me. And the anger is normal and justified so do whatever you need to do to release it. (Well, which I know you’re planning on doing). I totally relate to it. I committed to a healing/spiritual path in my mid 20’s unconsciously. I only realized what I’d done in my 40’s and it wasn’t until sometime in my 50’s that I got in touch with the anger and disappointment my 20something self felt at the way her life had turned out.
    Happy chopping

  4. Pingback: People Power: The “be-ers” | Not Just Sassy on the Inside

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