A few months ago some of my posts were muses on the current state of women. It’s an issue I’m still ruminating and this week some things came together for me. Can’t quite decide if I’m disturbed or energized. But I am ever more convinced that a shift into a time of greater feminine/Goddess energy requires women to take some long, deep looks at the many ways we’re hooked into the patriarchy.
This rumination started years ago when I began to realize that the “perfect” body coaches and judges demand of gymnasts and figure skaters is basically the body of a pre-pubescent. Pre-pubescent boy was my first thought, but really the average body type at that stage is about the same for either gender. Women’s grown bodies… not okay.
And more recently, as I discussed here, I reflected on another piece, the question of women dressing in revealing or “sexy” clothes. It bugs me how much Hollywood and the fashion industry push for women to be sexy above all else.
Then lately I’ve been running into discussions about how younger women basically are waxing all the hair off their bodies. Suddenly I got the whole picture of the body type fashion favors: skinny, flat chest and no body hair. Okay, we’re back to pre-pubescent. So we’re permeated by a fashion sense that wants women to look like young girls — or boys — rather than grown up women.
You know, kids The ones only pedophiles consider sexy. I’m not sure which disturbs me worse: that the fashion industry has somehow shaped the world view of sexiness to suit the desires of pedophiles (and wtf is that about?) or that so many women, instead of saying, “screw you, women who look like women — in every shape and size — are sexy and we don’t want your fashion” just jump on board and follow these dictates.
Is pedophilia really so pervasive that this long-standing, widespread effort to tell grown women the only thing that’s sexy is the body of a child hasn’t even been noticed? Or is everything about women–not to mention children– so unimportant in our society no one is paying that much attention?
And what’s with all the women who get told they’re only sexy if they look like a pedophile’s wet dream and instantly start dieting and taking off all their body hair? How did so many of the rest of us — us non-fashionistas — not quite see the deeper meaning in all this? A world view that grown women aren’t desirable unless they look like and — as far as I can see — behave like children. Now that I’ve noted it, it’s so glaring I can’t understand why this isn’t a national conversation.
I’m a great believer in the divine feminine, in the power of women. We’re beautiful in every shape and size. We’re smart, capable, talented, creative and most important, filled with compassionate and loving hearts. Our compassion is the biggest reason we’re needed in positions of power and authority. But instead of being celebrated and given equality and power for our wonderful attributes we’re in a male-dominated culture in which we’re treated as disposable, negligible, objects… children.
It’s a culture so pervasive I think most of us women are blind to some aspects of it because we’re too enmeshed in it to see. I’m excited by the current climate of embracing women’s rights and yet I feel like much of it is dancing around the edges without delving into the deep issues. It’s time to explore all the ways patriarchy is operating to keep women marginalized and degraded and to stand up for overthrowing all of it. Not to mention stop colluding in it.
It starts, I feel, with women exploring their own inner landscape and healing all the ways they feel less than, lacking in self worth and/or self-respect, dependent on men, insecure, etc. We need an army of GROWN, confident women who respect themselves and know their worth. And none of us can make anyone else do it. It begins with me. It begins with you.