Between worlds… and learning what it means to me

A month or so ago I had a partial epiphany moment — one of those AHA’s where it feels like a giant leap and then you wonder if you really understand what it means.  During a Steve Nobel meditation in which he talked about our current transition into 5D and how everything moves faster and easier there, I suddenly realized I’ve operated from that level occasionally for a long time, but a lot of teachings and beliefs around me have kept me doubting my experiences.

Many spiritual teachers –including some friends of mine– have deep beliefs about the need to “do something”.  Doing, for them, is never about prayers or visualizing or holding a space; instead it is about action and plans and, in many cases, some sure-fire series of steps you must take.  According to them you can’t manifest anything without completing such a program.

Now in my experience, every great manifestation story I have to tell involves no planning, not taking steps, and doing nothing but visualizing and/or creating affirmations concerning my goal.  Sometimes no more than a passing thought holding a strong desire.

One of my best stories goes back to my first years out of law school, when I’d moved back to Chicago (where my school wasn’t known well and I didn’t have legal connections) and wound up working a series of temp law gigs and volunteering for a legal nonprofit.  Another temp job was about to end and I started affirming that the perfect permanent job for me would show up.  Within a couple of weeks a place with which I’d interviewed a year before found me at my latest job (not where I’d been working when interviewed), set up another interview and hired me.

All the wisdom about getting such a job said I needed to send a new resume and then follow up with a phone call and possibly also put out feelers through mutual acquaintances.  I did NONE of those things (although I was in process of updating the resume).  I actually got a job as a lawyer with the Governor’s Office by saying an affirmation and assuming it would come true (and probably being at least a little impressive the first time I interviewed 🙂 ).

The most amazingly impossible tale involves my left leg, twisted from knee to ankle since birth.  While composing a “treasure map” (similar to the current vision board idea), I saw a photo of an athlete with strong straight legs and, wondering if that could happen, added it to the map.  I said an affirmation about straight, healthy legs and forgot about it.

Some months later at a workshop on channeling, a fellow who’d come to learn how to use his newly-awakened healing abilities “saw” the pattern underneath and started doing hands-on healing on my leg every day. At the end of the week my leg suddenly jerked and snapped and the tibia moved into place.

No plan, in a world that still would say the straightened leg was impossible to do without a plan and the plan would have to include surgery.  But there wasn’t a plan or a doctor or surgery and voila straight leg.

In spite of these and other successes, I lacked confidence and felt pressured by the “make a plan” people, so I worried I was doing it wrong.  All those programs where you have to sit down and make a list and create a scheme, etc. make my stomach tighten and my eyes roll back in my head, but the “must do” crowd had me convinced this was a flaw in me.

Trying to do it “right”, I’ve tried the plotting and planning method.  It really isn’t how I operate so it’s always uncomfortable and pretty much always leads to… nothing… and going nowhere…  With my understanding about energy and how it works growing exponentially in recent years I was ripe to hear a message about 5D, where you have a thought and it comes to be.

Ding!  Flashes of my past successes (it’s a pretty long list) danced through my head and I knew I’d long been able to operate from that place.  I just didn’t trust my own abilities and instincts enough to believe.  A short step brought me to memories from 18 or so years ago when I studied for a few years with a Hopi elder.

After a talk on “borderland people” one day, she pulled me aside and asked if I knew I was a borderland person.  Having recognized myself in most of her description, I nodded enthusiastically, happy to explain some mysterious aspects of myself with this concept.  Borderland people, you see, stand with a foot in both worlds:  one foot in this world, one foot in the spirit or dream world.

Although “the 5D” and “spirit” worlds are often discussed in separate places and as if the concepts are not the same, I’m seeing them as the same idea described with different words.  And understanding that I jumped ahead into operating from a more 5D place a long time ago.  Now I’m wondering if those authoritative people with the plans might understand less than I do instead of more?  [I do think the plans often work for those who believe in plans; not because of the  plan but because of the belief in it.]

I’ve known since I was fairly young that I often march to a different drummer but until now that has been both a badge of honor and a source of great struggle and doubt.  On this spiritual path I’ve grown ever more out of step with the mainstream.  I’m seeing there are many teachers on this path who are still so influenced by 3D thinking, their teaching is out of step for me; no more thinking the problem is with me.

I don’t mean to sound arrogant or superior.  I make no claim to have achieved enlightenment or to have reached some perfected state of Higher Consciousness or even that I spend a significant portion of my time in “5D”.  But something shifted with these realizations and I understand more of who I am, how I operate and what it means to be a borderland person.  Instead of anticipating the arrival of 5D with trepidation for the unknown, I am instead excited about moving into a time when I feel more comfortable because the world has shifted into a mode in which I fit.

I’m still exploring how I feel in this new paradigm for me and what all the stuff about 5D means…. you know, since we haven’t completed the transition and can only speculate about a dimension we’ve not actively experienced.  But I feel myself shifting into a new space as I accept operating on a different plane and with a different set of beliefs about how the world works…

16 thoughts on “Between worlds… and learning what it means to me

  1. I enjoyed this piece very much. I am still confused about 5D, but figure I live there sometimes.
    I would enjoy a follow up article if you see the value in doing one at a later date.

    Namaste,
    Linda

  2. Yes!! I have had and worked a plan in the earliest days of my metaphysical journey. All the clearing work was helpful, but it never got me where I wanted to go. It did strengthen my connection with the universe, though. And with that strengthened connetion, so much has been happening.

    I am currently reading a book called Shifting Reality by Cynthia Sue Larson that I think you will find yourself in. She talks a lot about what you have experienced, but also some other ways that we can change through intention and belief that things can happen. I think you might find the book enjoyable. The concepts are new for me in places, and it’s a bit redundant in others, but I think that the reality shifts that she talks about would be something you already experience or could quickly experience once you know others can do it (believing it can happen). I love hearing about your journey!

    • Now that you mention it, I also just kind of moved from one tradition or workshop or practice to another as each thing seemed to draw me, so even my spiritual path has been pretty much unplanned…
      I’ve been following Ms. Larson’s blog for a long time and, to be honest, her writing is usually too scientific or jargon-filled for me to make it through even a whole post (can’t put my finger on why I find her so tough to read but those are my guesses). However, I have gleaned from the chunks I DO read that she writes a lot about quantum physics and the growing evidence of dimensions beyond ordinary consciousness. I’ll take a look at her book.
      And thanks!

      • This particular blog ok is lacking in any scientific information; it is all experiential, which is refreshing. I’d like to know what is possible more than how it happens, sometimes.

  3. You have believed in yourself Leigh, following that path that is you. And at times you have ‘opened’ to what is gently inside waiting, becoming stronger each time and opening a little more ❤

  4. I’m with you. Some of the most amazing things just happen. But some of those classes where you learn techniques and make lists helped me become aware of things I hadn’t given thought to before, so some growth took place. Still, staying in touch with my center and connection to a higher consciousness allows me to stay open to all possibilities. Thanks for your wise words.

    • Me too — I didn’t mean to imply I’ve never gotten anything out of it but I ran into people who not only used those tools for classes but implied you always have to be that rigid in order to get anywhere with anything and it just doesn’t work for me. I do know some more science or math or business-oriented people who do very well that way because it is more in step with how they operate– I’m realizing my objection is more to the way such teachers assume it’s a universal “must” instead of specific to some people and not others.
      Thanks Georgeanne — always like a comment that makes me think some more and I appreciate your kind words.

  5. I loved this piece Leigh, so validating and so good to know that the path has other travellers on it… so easy to lapse into thinking that maybe it’s just a beautiful pipe dream… knowing others are on the journey too is wonderful. Beautiful and meaning- full llustration…Look forward to reading more about your journey and the signposts you may discover…

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