Over Christmas?

For some years now my mother and I look at one another periodically through the holiday season and declare, “I have no Christmas spirit at all.”  I’m not sure why I lost my Christmas mojo other than too many years of less than no energy and a dwindling budget though I have a feeling the energy transition occurring now is part of it.  I can’t even decide if I care, if I’m numb or, more likely, if I’m just in a space where the hoorah of it all doesn’t matter to me any more.

I used to get excited.  I’d shop for a tree after Thanksgiving, decorate it and the house and enjoy every minute.  I also spent much of my adult life living away from my parents (both when together and later singly) and traveling at Christmas, so there was a big trip to add some excitement, which often meant also seeing other family members or old friends.

Since I am an only child and never married, there haven’t been children or grandchildren to enjoy the holidays.  When my mother first moved back here and I visited, there were lots of friends and family who gave parties at Christmas and we’d hop from one event to another.  Then, when I moved here, I added a few annual parties given by friends of mine.  Mom’s friends and many of the relatives have died or grown too old to throw parties and my groups have kind of given up, so no big festivities to attend.

Aside from watching too many Hallmark movies, I’ve developed a tradition of attending a candle lighting service at a local “center for spiritual living”, a non-denominational “church”, with a friend of mine.   It’s always very moving and filled with love but otherwise Christmas just seems like a slog of buying and trips to the post office.

I managed to create a nice breakfast casserole and then a nice dinner for the day so my mother and I had a couple of special meals.  But my father lives far away and I worry about him, always alone.  This time he had a Christmas dinner invitation so that was a cause for joy for me.

At this point I mostly feel relief that we’re past another one.  All the decorations and hype make me feel like I “should” be experiencing some some sort of gaiety or euphoria for the season but I just don’t care that much about it any more.  I can’t even quite decide if I want to try to find the “Christmas spirit” again or if I prefer to just let it go…

I’ve been reading some channeled posts telling me that letting go of Christmas as we’ve known it is part of the move forward into the new  world/age.  So I’m curious whether this feeling of being kind of removed from Christmas is something others are experiencing or whether I’m just turning into Scrooge 🙂 ?

24 thoughts on “Over Christmas?

  1. Yes, I felt this way too. This year, I stood fast against the brainwashing and cultural push to have a “traditional” Christmas. We suggested no presents to the kids, except a gift to the family of a game. We’ll host family game night once a month, so that we give the gift of good times. That seemed to work out well. I refuse to be bullied this year into spending oodles of money on gifts people don’t really want or on gift cards that just seem a bit crass. I’ve had the “Christmas spirit” in the past, but just could not force myself this year. I’m glad you found an alternative for you and your mom.

  2. I think our awareness on a daily level has much more sincerity and love within it than the greed, manipulation and falseness that the 21st century’s Christmas has turned into. Most families realise this but as most children are brainwashed by the daily media bombardment it turns into an emotional manipulation on a grand scale.
    I think as we get older we realise this and try to turn it more into a ‘family’ occasion rather than a ‘look what I got’ stab fest.
    It’s all in the attitude Leigh, and the love that it brings back into our lives ❤

  3. There’s always fetivus for the rest of us please consider a Christmas rehab at Odd Duck Farm as it is a balmy -5 today and nothing improves your attitude like avoiding frostbite ( smile) though we would love to see you?

  4. I most definitely felt more removed from Christmas this year. In fact, I barely felt any festivity or need to get presents for anyone but my son this year. A large part of it was feeling very disconnected from humanity in general lately due to my Kundalini awakening. I’m quite unintegrated lately, and often tired.

  5. So pleased you had your Dad this year.. As for that Christmas feeling.. I think for most part the commercialism has gone into overdrive.. We had a very peaceful small family Christmas.. You are not on your own in feeling this Leigh.. I think as our awareness broadens, we see Beyond the trappings of Christmas.. And remember what the message of Christmas is all about.. And that is not the biggest gifts we can buy.. But how big our hearts can give …
    And I would sooner have those whom we love near and dear any day of the year..
    Wishing you a Very Happy Healthy and Harmonious New Year xxx

  6. I was having a conversation today with a coworker about the fantasy holidays or the fantasy family that we wish we had that does not exist ( on Earth anyway.) Since I was not raised with Christmas, I have always felt like an outsider looking in. I am so thrilled it is over with and noticed that time sped past me. I will admit, that on occasion during this season, I had prayed for a taste of the magic of the season. I think it still alluded me. Have you wondered what Christ ( or a Christlike teacher) would think of this commercial frenzy?

    peace to you,

    • I think Christ would re-enact the scene in Matthew 21 wherein he drove everybody out and turned over the tables of the money changers 🙂
      And yes, that’s a good description — the fantasy so many people think they should be having leading to disappointment.

  7. Since our kids left we have toned down on Christmas… no more presents… but time for family and reflection. Over the years the feeling for me has changed, before it all became too commercial there was a magical joy in the air but I haven’t felt that in many years. Instead I feel my joy within and project it outside of me AND voila… magical joy is felt all around. Much love and until next year…😘 love barbara x

  8. Leigh, I left this same comment on a post from Maria Chambers with a similar message. https://soulsoothinsounds.wordpress.com/2017/12/25/no-pity-party-please/

    I’m quoting the same comment verbatim as it is pretty much what I also want to say in response to your post here.

    “For the nth time, I so resonate with what you wrote! I can’t even remember when the last time was that I’ve been to a Christmas party. I’m so grateful that I made the decision a long time ago to not be part of the traditional Christmas and holiday celebration. It is one stressor that I choose to live without for which I’m most grateful!

    I’m with you, Maria. If the traditional celebration of gatherings and partying gives others joy, and I mean, pure and true joy, and not only because it’s an obligation or only because it is tradition, then go for it! I respect their choices. It just isn’t for me. Not anymore. And I, too, expect others to respect my choice. Many, though, especially those from my country of origin, the Philippines, just are unable to truly get that. And that’s ok. I’m ok with others not being ok with it and my many other choices which go against tradition and mainstream. I’m just so glad and grateful that I’m in good company! 🙂 ❤”

  9. The last Christmas I celebrated was 1977, my least year in high school and my last year being forced to be traditional. Once I got out on my own, I did my own research on things and decided that Christmas was just as fake as the religions.

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