In this time of transition both for earth and in my life, I’ve been pretty silent on this blog. Kind of hard to describe the fogginess that overtakes me every time I try to write up some thoughts… A lot has been going on so I thought I’d do one of my catch-up pieces about this and that.
I’m still pondering the “what am I here for?”, “what’s next?” questions that have been looming for quite some time. I’ve been seeing how lots of seemingly unconnected steps along my journey are adding up to a greater whole for some time. But lately I’m realizing it probably stretches on back to my politico college days and the studies I did on government and power (I’ll catch you up on that in a future post). I still keep seeing a guide book on peaceful activism but I keep feeling there are more pieces to put together first and I’m prepared for change to march me in a different direction…
The last few months have seen some significant, if slow, progress on the unwinding front. The deep, deep places in my face that are opening now are connected to patterns throughout my body and the opening is leading to huge energy flows. The huge runs of energy have a lot to do with my inability to pull together coherent thoughts and also interfere with sleeping.
I’m hearing that big energy shifts and downloads and weird physical things are happening for lots of folks as this is a big time of transition so I’m guessing it’s pushing my healing process along as well as impacting other levels of transformation.
This last weekend seemed to mark a moment of big shift. On Friday I whacked my left elbow into the edge of a towel bar which has had it black and blue and, initially, swollen. The next day, some spilled suntan oil in a store left me splatted on the ground, smashing my left knee and wrist as well as banging my left hip. By Saturday night I had puffy, black and blue elbow, wrist and knee.
Having learned that it really helps to do the triggers of release work after an accident, I did a number of those exercises Saturday night. I started experiencing pops and opening at way deeper levels than the accident could possibly have reached that quickly. It reminded me of another fall, after which Body Patterning practitioner Hanna commented on picking up the feeling that I needed the fall to crack some things open. That’s exactly how this has felt.
Not only did things begin to open more deeply that night, but it has activated a lot of opening in those last, intertwined pieces in my face — the root stuff that has been slow and resistant to opening. Now, I could do a lot of exploring about some message from particular places I injured (or look it up in Louise Hay 🙂 ) and I do find it interesting all the injuries were on the left (feminine) side, but I’m satisfied that cracking open was the point.
How long? how long?
Over the years I’ve often circled back to wondering why this healing process is taking SO long. I first realized there were massive problems with my muscles and my health over 30 years ago. I’ve practiced yoga, spent tens of thousands of dollars on body work, created a new exercise series for it and done countless of hours of energy practices not to mention the affirmations, prayers and visions…
While I’m aware there have been many lessons and I’ve learned a lot about my body I’d never have known without this long slow process, I’m again at a point of saying to the Universe, “Enough. I’ve had enough.” Way past the point of getting what benefit there could possibly be to 30+ total years and something like 12 years of just getting the muscles in my face and head sorted out. Enough. Not that saying “enough” seems to affect the Universe… 🙂
Love and Compassion
Meanwhile, still working at love and compassion and ever more convinced the answer for these times is to be love, be peace, be compassion. I posted a Patricia Cota-Robles video a while back in which she leads a meditation basically for healing all humanity and bringing love to the world. I’m posting it again below, just to make it easy if you’re interested. I play it on my tablet as I go to sleep most every night and I love it.
Got to see Patricia in person at one of her free events last Sunday, which was SO lovely! And I’ve been making my way slowly through a Ram Dass on line retreat involving videos from a real world workshop on transforming negative emotions. Good stuff.
Still chanting as well as seeking out videos and workshops focused on the issues so dear to my heart.