It’s been over a month now that I’ve been regularly chanting. First time in quite a while I’ve had a regular chanting or meditation practice. I’ve done a bunch of those 21 day meditations in recent years and I’ve done a couple of 40 day practices, but it’s been years since such a practice has stuck.
A lot has changed in my body since the days when meditation was a daily practice. In fact, some of the change is due to the movement practices I’ve done to balance energy and open flow instead of meditating.
One of the blessings of the long-term sorting out of my muscles and their steely impersonation of body armor has been that as they open, I experience many things about practices differently and learn nuances I’m not sure I’d have noted without the change.
Since my appointment with Hanna, the muscles have been unwinding and the usual sleep deprivation and headaches have ensued, which has led to missing days of chanting here and there and occasionally two in a row. I’ve changed the chants since I first started, beginning each time with the lovingkindness chant and then singing the Gayatri Mantra and Om Shanti Om.
The Gayatri, among other important impacts, opens the heart. Om Shanti Om is chanted for peace and I find it opens my heart. The lovingkindness chant also brings me into a big heart space. Chanting these every day helped immeasurably to calm my distress in the wake of the election. At first, if I missed a day I went right back to feeling panicky, then as soon as I chanted again, calm returned.
After a couple of weeks the peace settled in and I could miss a day without any big change. When sleep deprivation, headaches and missing days of chanting hit all at once, I noted that I could hold the peace through one missed day but a second tipped me back into unease and anxiety. I’ve also been learning anxiety is often a side effect of sleep deprivation for me, not as intense as the “oh no that thing can’t be president” panic, but noticeable. And it too is soothed away by chanting.
While I chant I feel so much more energy moving through me than I’ve ever felt from the same practices before. Channels and pathways opened as the muscles released and in so many areas I can now feel energy flowing through. I feel the power of the chanting more than ever. I feel it changing me.
Between the chanting and the releases Hanna helped to achieve it’s been a time of realizations and movement forward. After a long time of receiving “wait” messages, I’ve heard the time to wait is ending.
In the meantime I love the slow awakening of feeling and the subtle ways in which my practices change as I grow. I’m ever more aware of how much tight muscles stop the flow and reduce how much I feel when I do yoga or meditate or chant or … All the hard work… so worth it!