One of the arenas in which I have been really disturbed by Trump and the voters of America is the subject of women and women’s rights.
I feel like he’s made it quite clear he thinks it’s perfectly all right for men to grope and molest and sexually harass women any time they want. And that makes me feel anyone who voted for him was basically saying they favor that.
I know young women today are for some reason turned off to the women’s movement and that bugs me (which I’ve discussed here) but I don’t think they get how bad it was or how recently.
HOW IT WAS
You see I am old enough that when I had my first jobs, there were no sexual harassment laws. It was perfectly acceptable for a man to follow you into a supply closet or an alcove and grab your butt or your breast. And they did it often and casually. In those days if a woman spoke up about it, the man didn’t get fired, SHE did. It’s because of feminists that we are protected by sexual harassment laws.
I was date raped in college. In those days you didn’t dare tell anyone because the assumption was that you were a slut, it was somehow your fault and you would be shamed — not him. It was because of feminists that rape started being handled with sensitivity to victims.
Once, upon leaving a fund raising event at a church, a young drunk guy who happened by ran up to me as I walked alone to my car and grabbed my breast. I got away from him and flagged down a cop. When the police came to interview me later, the male cop in the duo thought it was hysterically funny that I thought anything was wrong about being assaulted on the street.
When I was heading off to college all of us girls were being told we could be nurses or teachers and of course we’d only do that for a few years till we got married and had families. We were among the first women who gained the freedom to work at every kind of job and to choose whether we wanted to marry or not. We broke down doors and opened career paths women had never been able to choose before. Feminists did that.
Our mothers were by and large married to men who not only didn’t want them to work but thought of them as lesser beings whose opinions didn’t matter. Not long before, in my grandmother’s generation, women who brought property to a marriage had no control over it once the knot was tied–my grandfather even had the gall to leave her fortune in a trust when he died so she still had no power over it.
My generation of women were the first whose husbands “let them work” and opened the way for the many modern marriages in which husbands support their wives’ careers and work with them on finding equal footing in the marriage. Women now can have their own credit cards and property. Feminists brought these changes about.
Donald Trump’s commentary about women says to me he’d like to see a return to the way things were when I was young. You know, when it was acceptable to grope women any time any place, when women were assumed to have caused their own rapes, when women weren’t thought to be capable of holding their own in the work force and husbands controlled the money.
When I look at the election votes, to me it seems nearly 60 million Americans are saying they think it would be fine to take us back to that. I don’t see how anyone could vote for him without on some level consenting to returning women to the dark ages.
WHAT I CAN HEAL
As you can see, I’m pretty pissed off… at Trump, at those who voted for him and at younger generations who think feminism is irrelevant to them. And that’s alternating with being teary and upset at the idea of going back to being humiliated and objectified as the younger version of me was. And I know if I’m ticked at other people or sad about other people, there are issues at play that are mine.
There are things to heal in me. Because everything I see in the world reflects what is in me. And what’s in me I can choose to explore and heal.
In this situation I find myself asking:
- How have I let the Divine Feminine in me down?
- How am I failing to stand strong in my own being?
- What have I still not healed from past sexual harassment and assault?
- What’s the real source of fearing/attracting harassment and assault?
- Is there something I want to have recognized or recognize within myself about my place in the women’s movement?
- How do I not honor my femininity?
As I explore there may be more. Sometimes it helps to name it. Sometimes it can just be healed…
You know I like to use ho’oponopono, which I’ve discussed in many posts, starting here. But healing can happen in many ways. You might do Reiki on yourself, you might see a therapist, you might go to a healer or forge a new path… It doesn’t really matter which way you choose, just heal.
For me, I see a number of ho’oponopono prayers here:
- For every way in which I fail to honor the feminine in me, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you
- If I am suppressing my own strength or power, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you
- If I still hold on to wounds or resentments about past harassment or assaults, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you
- For anything in me that magnetizes abusers/abuse, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you
- If I am upset with others because I crave recognition, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you
- For any way in which I fail to honor my femininity, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you
No one else has the power to make me angry or hurt me unless I grant that power. Whatever I see out there arises from what is in me and I can heal myself.