Dungeon Prompts: Forgotten Childhood

English: The Voyage of Life Childhood

English: The Voyage of Life Childhood (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today’s Dungeon Prompt from Sreejit Poole:

What did you forget after growing up?

As children we live in a totally different reality where the possibilities are endless. For example, I knew that there was a way to jump through the bathroom mirror into the world of the Thundercats; I just couldn’t figure it out. Some of those things we knew back then made life a lot more interesting. Tell us about some of the things that you knew as a child but have since forgotten.

In the last decade or so I can’t tell you how many practitioners and super intuitive friends have told me I need to play more.  Every time it comes up I feel at a loss.

I’ve said many times, in my house it was okay to be chronologically young but not to actually be a child.  I had to behave circumspectly from pretty early on.  While I know I had a vivid imagination and lots of dreams and somewhere along the way I assume I knew how to play, I just don’t remember.

I wasn’t that good at sports so even a lot of play-time memories feel strained to me; always tense about not being chosen, about knowing I’d fumble or swing and miss.  A lot of my favorite times were spent reading books and writing short stories.

Early childhood apparently carried enough trauma that I remember very little before the age of six.  Lots of processing and digging, helped along by some shocking memories from an aunt who’d kept quiet till I was in my 30’s, have unearthed some pieces but I see them as if I’m viewing a movie about somebody else.  They don’t feel like my other memories of things I clearly recall.

Very few of my short stories still exist but they show a sense of magic.  Yet when someone tells me to spend more time playing or letting my inner child run free I just come up blank.  I still love reading and writing.  And my spiritual path has led me places imbued with a different sort of magic.  I do believe in a magical universe where amazing things can happen.

But I’m not sure I know how to play.  Can’t swear I ever did.  When my life is finally devoted to something other than getting well (I’m predicting that’s soon!) I’m thinking I need to try some stuff that sounds fun and see if I can find that playful child…   That may prove interesting as not many things sound fun to me.  Don’t like crowds or sports (participating or watching) or camping or doing crafts so most of the activities other people seem to think are fun appall me (as activities for myself, not that others like them).

So far the inner child work I’ve done has mainly taken away her enormous fear and let her breathe freely while feeling safe in the world.  Maybe the playing comes after the healing?


15 thoughts on “Dungeon Prompts: Forgotten Childhood

  1. As long as it makes you smile, that inner child is always there :), whether its just viewing some ducks on a pond, helping another in friendship or climbing Mt Everest, it just needs that smile, and all the rest is already there 🙂

    • I like your definition. My pleasure comes a lot from very quiet things and given what most people mean by “playful” or “joyful” they don’t seem to fit. But they suit me. So maybe I AM playing!

      • Very much so Leigh, its what gives YOU pleasure that allows your heart to smile.
        It’s like someone saying they love to jump out of planes…that’s great, but doesn’t get me all excited.
        Like you, I’m also quite happy to just ‘be’ and share with others around me. And because of that I can find much pleasure in a walk, appreciating all around me, or even just watching the world go by. To me they haven’t found that one thing that allows happiness in the simple things….the love of self.
        Enjoy your journey, it is in ‘doing you’ that you will find that love 🙂

  2. Pingback: Dungeon Prompts: What did you forget? | The Seeker's Dungeon

  3. “Maybe the playing comes after the healing?” Hope so. But, the things you find fun can be different from others. I hope you’re able to breathe freely soon though… at least you breathe into this blog!

  4. I relate to a lot of what you say. I also have very few memories of my childhood….. and playing is an issue for me too. I have many things I enjoy doing, that give me great pleasure. But being playful, especially if it involves being loud can be very difficult and uncomfortable for me.

  5. Thanks for sharing this, Leigh.
    I think anything that feels joyful and creative counts as play. That seems to writing stories about magic for you when you were a child.
    For me it was creating beautiful things, like painting or jewellery, and dancing when I was younger. I never really like to play and I still don’t like it.

    Yes, the world is full of magic. And when someone on the spiritual path writes about it, then that is a confession and requires a lot of courage. The other way to write about it is to camouflage or mask it as fiction and then write a book like Harry Potter about it.
    I am looking forward to your stories about the magic in the world!

  6. I could relate to so much of this, Leigh. I have very few solid memories of my childhood and can wasn’t into sports either. These days if someone tells me to play and let my inner child free – I want to read a book! 🙂 Aleya

  7. Pingback: Dungeon Prompts: Why do you blog? | The Seeker's Dungeon

  8. I think the way I play now is writing humorously about life, even about aging. That is great fun and once I get started, it just flows. I can’t do it all the time, but it’s a great release, when I can.
    I used to dance……put some lively music on and dance, even while mopping or dusting. Knee and back problems have limited that way of playing. I love swimming even now….I can’t do it smoothly or strongly the way I used to, but even with a child’s ring under my head, I love paddling or kicking and just feeling the water and a rhythm. I like floating on my back and watching clouds and birds pass. Play has no purpose other than to relax and have fun. Getting some clay and closing my eyes and just letting a picture of something come into my mind and trying to shape it without looking is an amazing experience. I did a lion once that way and it came out the “cowardly lion” and I loved it fiercely. I think it represented my inner fearfulness and it was very therapeutic to feel tenderness for it.

Please add your thoughts; love a good discussion!

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