Today’s Dungeon Prompt from Sreejit Poole:
What did you forget after growing up?
As children we live in a totally different reality where the possibilities are endless. For example, I knew that there was a way to jump through the bathroom mirror into the world of the Thundercats; I just couldn’t figure it out. Some of those things we knew back then made life a lot more interesting. Tell us about some of the things that you knew as a child but have since forgotten.
In the last decade or so I can’t tell you how many practitioners and super intuitive friends have told me I need to play more. Every time it comes up I feel at a loss.
I’ve said many times, in my house it was okay to be chronologically young but not to actually be a child. I had to behave circumspectly from pretty early on. While I know I had a vivid imagination and lots of dreams and somewhere along the way I assume I knew how to play, I just don’t remember.
I wasn’t that good at sports so even a lot of play-time memories feel strained to me; always tense about not being chosen, about knowing I’d fumble or swing and miss. A lot of my favorite times were spent reading books and writing short stories.
Early childhood apparently carried enough trauma that I remember very little before the age of six. Lots of processing and digging, helped along by some shocking memories from an aunt who’d kept quiet till I was in my 30’s, have unearthed some pieces but I see them as if I’m viewing a movie about somebody else. They don’t feel like my other memories of things I clearly recall.
Very few of my short stories still exist but they show a sense of magic. Yet when someone tells me to spend more time playing or letting my inner child run free I just come up blank. I still love reading and writing. And my spiritual path has led me places imbued with a different sort of magic. I do believe in a magical universe where amazing things can happen.
But I’m not sure I know how to play. Can’t swear I ever did. When my life is finally devoted to something other than getting well (I’m predicting that’s soon!) I’m thinking I need to try some stuff that sounds fun and see if I can find that playful child… That may prove interesting as not many things sound fun to me. Don’t like crowds or sports (participating or watching) or camping or doing crafts so most of the activities other people seem to think are fun appall me (as activities for myself, not that others like them).
So far the inner child work I’ve done has mainly taken away her enormous fear and let her breathe freely while feeling safe in the world. Maybe the playing comes after the healing?