Not even half way through the month and I already missed posting. Started to do one last night and hit a fatigue wall — literally could not keep my eyes open, which lately can translate to falling asleep sitting on the floor with the laptop in my lap… Decided to save the laptop and go to bed.
I woke up a couple of hours later with muscles yanking around and decided to change my post idea. It’s been very hard for people to understand this “unwinding head” journey and why it would interfere with sleep. I’d left my camera sitting nearby, so tried to get a shot while my face was in full-on unwind mode. I’m not a taker of selfies, so please forgive the poor quality:
Nothing you see there is voluntary. The weird angles of mouth, the uneven nostrils, the yanked up eyebrows — all of that is one example of what happens when the muscles in my face decide it’s time to release a little more. When it happens the process moves and shifts around, pulling my face into contortions much like the one you see here. Sometimes this goes on for hours and hours; worst case has been 24 hours. Does that help the sleep deprivation and difficulty meditating make more sense?
It’s reached a point where every small piece that opens leaves me feeling a degree of ease and comfort around my eyes and/or in my jaw that’s beyond anything I can remember. It’s pretty exciting, following it step by step into freedom and relaxation. Also kind of exhausting, restructuring my face. And, when the muscles behind my eyes are really pulling, a little scary — they’re wrapped around the optic nerve, after all.
More and more I feel how deeply the holding patterns have impacted by emotional state. For some years I’ve been trying to explain how I often have a sense of holding an emotional state that doesn’t relate to anything that’s going on in my mental state or my current feelings about life. For all of you with TMJ or near-sightedness (see here for explanation of how that relates to muscles behind the eyes) or super stiff necks, those muscles need to open.
All that tightness blocks the flow of energy. It affects how you feel on many levels. Cranio-sacral work is a great way to open those issues; it was how the unwinding started for me. Whatever modality works for you, I hope you find the way to open those blocks.