By Tuesday night I just felt too tired to even try chanting or doing the ceremony. I realized–not for the first time–that my tendency is to decide it’s time to accomplish a project like this and to keep relentlessly pushing through no matter how it feels.
Now, it’s possible there’s some kind of resistance to forgiving this person. But I’ve done a lot of softening and healing about this one in recent years so I don’t think that’s it.
Many times during this journey I’ve kept releasing or shifting without a break when a wiser path might have been to take some time out to absorb what I’d already done. Eventually something happens that stops me in my tracks and “makes” me chill for a while until my energy catches up with itself.
The first eight days of forgiveness shifted a LOT of material for me. While it’s hard not to follow through on what I set out to do in the time frame I put on it, right now I feel I need a little break and I’d prefer not to have to catch the flu or sprain an ankle to get the integration time I need.
I plan to return to the work for this person in a day or two and then I’ve decided to do the rest of the list on more like a once a week or two basis. I like the idea of completing one and resting with it, letting it settle before moving on to another. I’ll keep posting about it as I move along.