I”m back. Maybe. Sort of…

By Psy Guy on wikimedia

I didn’t really mean to slip into hibernation but the last couple of months I’ve been increasingly less present, not only in blogging but in life.  I’ve been thinking of it as being funky but that really has connotations of depression I haven’t felt.  It’s been kind of an absence of feeling and a lack of will to keep up with things.  My practices and exercises have been done only sporadically and, aside from one work project that’s had a lot of my attention, I’ve let most things go by the wayside.

The issues with my head have been roaring on and lately I’ve felt at the end of my rope.  And then I laugh because this has an apparent life of its own and is clearly going to proceed whether or not I’m tired of it.  The equanimity born of years of practices is handy at times like this.

In the last week, as I began stirring to life, I checked in with my meditation “council” and got the information that I really needed a time out from pushing so hard; time to integrate all that I changed in the hard work last year.  That’s been hard for me throughout these years of healing and the journey–to stop and integrate, give myself a rest.  I’m inclined to forge ahead relentlessly.

I’m not sure whether the Universe assisted me into hibernation or whether on some level I finally took myself to the place of rest I needed.  However I got there, I’m feeling a bit more put together.  I might be back.  But I’m willing to see where Spirit leads me.

Unwinding Head Saga

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17 thoughts on “I”m back. Maybe. Sort of…

  1. Leigh, I have those times when I need to just recuperate from life. With the winter being so hard this year, hibernation feels more natural than rushing ahead. Hope your head issues unravel in a good way and bring you lasting relief! You’ll be in my prayers. Karen

    • Winter is definitely part of it. I always slow down a bit and do less. And this has been an uncharacteristically northern winter for Kentucky so burying myself in blankets has been an easy choice! Thanks so much for the kind thoughts and prayers.

  2. Being the way we are makes it difficult to actually stop and smell the roses sometimes. Always seems to be on the go or a need for something. I get bursts one way or the other…and if it’s too much ‘other’, spirit throws something in my path to take note. But being a male :), I can be a bit slow at times. Go with the flow Leigh, a time of change just needs time…for you! Love and light! Mark.

  3. I also know that feeling of not allowing myself a break, trying to hold on to my usual rituals and practices (that took much time and effort to adopt and integrate) when it just doesn’t feel right. Being afraid that if I let go I would somehow lose myself and get caught in the wheel of mood swings… But I find that when I trust myself to let go and run loose and wild for a while, I come back happier, stronger and more stable than ever. And others notice that, strangely enough, I seem more like myself (guess one can never be a prophet in her own village 🙂 )
    I ran loose on beaches in Thailand recently and it did me only good 🙂 .
    Take time and have fun! xox

    • Ooh, running on beaches sounds nicer than huddling under blankets here in unnaturally wintry weather. But, while not wild and free, the break does feel overdue!

  4. Hi Leigh: it’s ironic but I thought I was not paying enough attention to your blogs but this latest missive in a strange way tells me that there may have been simply less blogs. Now at least on line, we all can be the worst combination of Sigmund Freud /Margaret Mead so I’ll just do a poor imitation of a meteorologist –it’s been a miserable winter! My defense mechanism has been skijoring that has left me with a series of athletic injuries but great photos. Also, 60 is not the new 30’s, there are real changes. So lighten up and give yourself a break. I’m proud of you! You have created a new career and published several books, Your example gives me hope and inspiration. Keep om keeping on! Mike

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