I didn’t really mean to slip into hibernation but the last couple of months I’ve been increasingly less present, not only in blogging but in life. I’ve been thinking of it as being funky but that really has connotations of depression I haven’t felt. It’s been kind of an absence of feeling and a lack of will to keep up with things. My practices and exercises have been done only sporadically and, aside from one work project that’s had a lot of my attention, I’ve let most things go by the wayside.
The issues with my head have been roaring on and lately I’ve felt at the end of my rope. And then I laugh because this has an apparent life of its own and is clearly going to proceed whether or not I’m tired of it. The equanimity born of years of practices is handy at times like this.
In the last week, as I began stirring to life, I checked in with my meditation “council” and got the information that I really needed a time out from pushing so hard; time to integrate all that I changed in the hard work last year. That’s been hard for me throughout these years of healing and the journey–to stop and integrate, give myself a rest. I’m inclined to forge ahead relentlessly.
I’m not sure whether the Universe assisted me into hibernation or whether on some level I finally took myself to the place of rest I needed. However I got there, I’m feeling a bit more put together. I might be back. But I’m willing to see where Spirit leads me.