What really contributes to the world?

Corte Madera canal walk

I’ve been in another trying spell with the unwinding head business, losing sleep, lots of headaches, etc.  I struggle a bit against melancholy in these spells and I’ve been thinking a lot about this whole aspect of the journey lately.  I’ve been reporting on the Scribblings blog about my struggles with writing and I’m realizing the health issues are tangled up with the fears around my writing.

Lots of years of fatigue and pain have given me a very clear understanding of the skewed view our society has of what constitutes accomplishment.  It’s been unbelievable to me how many people have had no qualms –sometimes barely knowing me — about making it clear that they assume I’m just lazy and that there’s nothing wrong.  I thought I’d learned to ignore that.  I really believe that the greatest contribution each of us can make to the world is to clear up our own issues and raise our vibrations; to become more open and compassionate.

But I’ve realized lately that some little voice still follows the societal view that you should work lots of hours–preferably at some job you don’t especially like –and fill the rest of your time with activities or else you’re a lazy bum.    So it bothered me that I signed up for Camp NaNoWriMo and again missed the mark.

I’m stopping to take a hard look, though, and giving myself a lot more credit for the long journey to this point.  The muscles that are currently yanking and pulling are the few muscles at the core of the issues and, not surprisingly, they’re the tightest.  But they are unwinding and I’m finally able to anticipate that the last throes of all this will be soon.   Many people have laughed when I’ve said this is exhausting but I’m here to tell you that having your body constantly rearranging itself (when enough stuff in my head unwinds, there are actually shifts down to my feet) takes a lot of energy.

Why I was handed health issues that have baffled all health practitioners and taken many years to sort out I don’t know.  But I’ve stuck with it, exploring every emotional issue I encountered that contributed to this, trying multiple varieties of bodywork, creating my own exercise method and faithfully doing a variety of practices and food changes, all in order to find my way through this.  Along the way I also encountered ancestral issues.

I really believe that everything I’ve cleared has cleared paths for others.  I believe that the ancestral healing I’ve done has opened pathways for countless hundreds of unknown cousins of varying degrees.  I believe in all this time off from the kind of journey considered “normal” in our society that I’ve contributed as much or more as people working at jobs they hate and running around doing stuff all the time.

And all of you, dear spiritual blogging community.  I want you to stop for a minute.  Breathe.  Maybe look in a mirror.  Look deep into your heart or deep into your eyes and know that your writing and meditating and seeking peace and searching your psyche, etc.  are all great contributions to the world.  Bless us all, every one.  We’re contributors.

Note:  There’s another world prayer at noon Aug. 4.  Also, my latest challenge for Collective Prayer Sunday is to gather at least 3 other people for chanting/praying, etc. by midnight on Aug. 11 (not necessarily in the usual CPS time frame).  A friend and I have invited a group to join us this Sunday (Aug. 4) from 3-5 p.m. EDT (actually chanting from 3:15-4:15) so join in at that time if you’d like to feel part of a group — see if you can feel the power of all of us.


19 thoughts on “What really contributes to the world?

  1. I totally get what you have said in the post. I think I’m a few yrs older than you (62) so it’s okay for me to be retired now, but despite being intelligent, and reasonably well educated I worked in over one hundred different kinds of jobs throughout my working life (from cleaner to store manager, etc), just to survive. My only career, my real career was the spiritual path/inner healing/getting clear – and I came to know it was the biggest contribution, the *most important* contribution, I could make. And I certainly went through the same kind of unwinding you’re talking about, and the same kind of inner conflict of my own intuitive knowing of my purpose vs how the world told me I should be. You’re doing great! You go girl! You’re on the right path and don’t let anyone tell you different!

    • I’m actually going to be 61 soon so we’re not so far off. But it’s been over 20 years for me of being able only to work part time.
      I’ve never encountered anyone else who had muscles unwinding on their own — would love to hear more of that story!
      I like that thought — the real career was the spiritual path. That’s how I’ve felt for years, yet that outer world does affect me — more subtly than I realize. Thanks for the words of encouragement!

      • Gosh, I thought you were younger than that – I have no idea why – maybe your enthusiasm. It’s interesting the way we imagine people when we don’t know. I must stop doing that lol!
        I have occasionally has muscles unwinding on their own as I released the emotional charge around an issue, but frequently had any/every kind of physical healing as I released the emotional charge. I always approach physical dis-ease as primarily a mirror of emotional dis-ease (blocked energy) and releasing the emotions allows the body to heal itself. Of course sometimes it’s just as simple as I’ve picked up some bug from being in 3rd world countries and I’d better be taking something for it whether allopathic or homeopathic to clear it from my system.
        You and I we both have a PhD in inner healing/clearing/awakening/truthseeking/opening to stillness/discovering who we really are. It’s the best career possible.

  2. I think your persistence and dedication to your own healing are amazing. You are an excellent role model for so many. Just because everyone else is running around busy every moment doesn’t mean that it’s healthy even for them. We are a society obsessed with doing and materialism and as a result many people neglect their health and spirituality. What I’ve learned is that we each have a personal path and they aren’t all alike. The “normal” path made me sick. Now I live the life I need to live and am healthier than I’ve ever been at 68.

    • I so agree. I think the norm in our society is so far off base about what’s important and what it really means to live a good life. I loved reading your journey in your book — you certainly deserve to have this healthy journey now. Even with what’s left of my issues I have to say I’m in better shape now at 60 than I was in in my twenties or thirties so I hear you. I wish we could convince everyone that it’s so worth the effort!

  3. Beautiful – especially challenging to stay on point so to speak when the body is clamoring for attention and in pain – then the mind may more easily succumb to mind beliefs around “doing”. All is well, incredibly well – Silence……..

  4. I love the power and collectiveness of group prayer and meditation! I shall be joining you from Calgary on the 4th!. How exciting.

    And yes, there is this voice inside me too that says — you should be busy, doing, yada yada yada, even when my spirit knows I need to love myself through quiet and calm and rest and simply sitting breathing.

    I love that you write of healing your ancestral past. So very very powerful and in the eyes of the universe, so incredibly necessary.

    Thank you for the inspiration. Hugs

    • Oh I love to hear of people joining the chanting//praying.
      It took a while to get to this ancestral piece — but eventually I realized that I just wasn’t harboring an issue that explained some of the holding patterns. When my body worker mentioned some of the scientific evidence about ancestral patterns being passed down including in the body and started to work on this a bunch of stuff opened up. When I led a healing ceremony for ancestors lots of the participants had amazing things happen in their families in the next couple of weeks. So powerful!
      You regularly inspire me with your posts, so thanks back to you!

  5. Sometimes I find you just have to let go of the notion of health as a destination but see it as more of journey with work always to be done.

    At its best the journey is a powerful, and often quite humbling, learning experience. 😉


    • I agree. I don’t imagine ever being done in some ultimate sense. But I have long believed my; muscles are finite and there has to be a finite number of knots in them so when I speak of done, I do have an expectation of completing this unwinding process and having my muscles restored to better health. At which point I know life will keep putting knots back in but I have tools now to keep it from ever getting twisted and steely again.
      And yes, every time I think I’ve gotten somewhere the journey turns me to take a humbling look at something else…

    • I hope the nerve was touched in a good way — well you know, that good way that means you got to look at something worth seeing. even though uncomfortable…
      Yes, I am constantly grateful and amazed at how very many lovely people I’ve found in this spiritual blogging community (that includes you!) and how thoughtfully they write both posts and comments.
      Responding to both your comments: that thanks means a lot. It’s been challenging for me to reveal as much as I have and I constantly fight (not always winning) the impulse to just write as a teacher instead of sharing my struggles on the journey. The healing thing for me has been how kind and supportive everyone’s responses are. So thank you for that.

  6. I find your honesty freeing. A true gift to others. I have fibromyalgia flare-ups, but have been free of major pain for several years, until the past week. I can usually trace my physical pain to psychological/spiritual unease. When I deal with that, I’m up and running again. The pain is simply an alert system for me, just as anger is in my relationships. They point me to the place in my spirit that needs healing. I’m making some progress in this flare-up. But it’s a double-bind. If I get stressed over getting it worked out quickly, it just intensifies the pain. Being gentle and patient with yourself is half the battle. Living in the present moment, accepting that nothing and no one is perfect, we inch toward the ideal, but within some limits we didn’t choose. And none of my deceased friends and relatives of any type of personality or spirituality died perfect.
    Doers are born that way, intuitives are born to see below the surface, beyond the concrete, and make connections.That’s what we are created to “do.” We aren’t all dealt the same hand and frankly as far as I can see, probably none of us is playing with a full deck! 🙂
    Last year at 75, I was happier and healthier and able to help others more than I ever have been in my whole life.
    I am considering my problems now as just another temporary challenge to grow.
    Or as the Knight said, “It’s only a flesh wound!”

    • Very insightful! I so appreciate that point of view. I used to be more of a doer but for me it was for distraction… Sorry to hear about your flare up. I certainly know those painful days are tough. Oddly enough these days when the unwinding muscles are particularly getting on my nerve it usually means that I’ve opened something or worked enough with my energy to create more opening in my muscles — I know that’s a good thing but I’m not always very gracious about the less pleasant side effects of the muscles getting healthy…
      Thanks so much for such a thoughtful comment.

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