Worthiness–Less and More

Salty Being Peace

Salty Being Peace

Note:  my comment on yesterday’s Prayer for Peace is on the Facebook page.

A few days ago a post on Brenda’s Blog left me spinning and thinking and wow-ing.  She wrote that if you’re not healthy or struggling for money then you’re not feeling worthy — worth-less.  Since I’ve been dealing with my health for 25+ years and through much of that time I’ve hovered on the brink of financial disaster, it struck a chord.

I realized some time ago that the ongoing health issues are tied to the financial issues –in more than the obvious way that I can’t work regular hours.  But the notion that both conditions reflect a state of feeling worth-less isn’t quite a way I’d looked at it.  Not that I haven’t hit issues about self-worth and worked on them in this many years of searching but I didn’t realize that something that deep around those issues still held on.

I’ve been walking around thinking and whispering, “I’m worth MORE” ever since.  It’s been another example for me of the many ways this condition of twisted up muscles creating body armor has not only affected everything but also has symbolized some key aspects of my being and issues.  In the post she spoke of keeping ourselves small.  A goose bumps moment for me because years ago my very talented and perceptive acupuncturist commented as he put the needles in, “It’s okay for you to be big.  You don’t have to make yourself small any more.”*

Mentally since that day I have worked on that and affirmed myself as big.  But my feeling is that as long as my body has been holding a tight, SMALL core that’s been impacting my ability to actually be big.  I’ve written many posts about this long healing journey [in the search box on the right put in healing journey Monday if you’re interested].  And I’ve written about how it sometimes takes a while.

In spite of all that work and digging through my psyche, the self-worth issues seem to be present still.  It will take some digging to figure out the source though I think some strong “don’t be” messages have permeated many areas of my life and although I’ve examined that issue I don’t think I’ve found every place where it affects me.  I’m so grateful to Brenda for the post that helped me see this.

Sometimes the process of figuring these things out takes a long time and has many stages.  The first time I accidentally hit publish on this post it had a different ending about a “Slow Movement”.  I’ll be posting that one next.

* If you’re lucky enough to be in the SF area you can check him out in Mill Valley:  Raymond Himmel.  He also has a blog.

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8 thoughts on “Worthiness–Less and More

  1. I whole-heartedly agree. It’s a lifelong process and some things are easier to move through than others. I’m 65 and I can happily report that I’m finally feeling comfortable in my own skin.

    • Yes. So true. Also my apologies, I messed up this post so I’ve gone back and put a different title and ending on it which means your comment is going to make more sense on the post tomorrow… But when you made it it was perfect here!

  2. Dear Yogoleigh,
    Thank you so much for highlighting in your blog the need to allow yourself to be – and to move at your pace. This transition is so individualized. I’ve channeled in the past that one could think of all of us being on a stage, with each taking their turn in the spotlight. Today’s channel that I’ll post tonight or tomorrow is that we’re all moving to the same place, but at our own pace and time.

    There isn’t a rule book for this transition. We’re figuring out how to move forward one step at a time most often – and other times in big gallops only to pause for weeks or months.

    I feel so bad that last week’s blog felt like a should – exactly opposite of what I hoped readers would find when reading.

    We are BIG. But we also often have issues that seem to defy some new earth teaching techniques. That’s to be expected. We have different interests, needs, backgrounds, etc.

    The big picture is that we’re moving into a more peaceful, joyful earth. The specifics are that not everyone is moving in the same way or time. Memories of learning how to use computers when they first became household tools popped into my head. My ability to understand computer concepts was much different than one of my friends who whizzed through applications. We both now use computers daily and are comfortable (in my case, fairly comfortable) with the applications we wish to use.

    Saturday, I channeled on my blogtalkradio show that “less than or better than are not correct phrases for this transition. The phrase that best describes our individual transitions is different than.”

    Blessings, Hugs and Love,
    Brenda

    • I messed up when I did this post — was working on two ideas and managed to morph them. So I never intended to imply that I felt a “should” from your post. I’ve re-done the post with thetitle and the ending that belongs with it. It never occurred to me even when I realized what I’d done that it implied I was unhappy with your post but I see now how it looks that way and I’m SO sorry. The post was a big wake-up call for me that I so appreciated and I didn’t have a feeling that there was a “should’ about when or how to do it.

  3. Thanks for this post. So many of us struggle with the feeling of worthlessness, and of course, society defines our worth in constricting ways sometimes.

    BTW, I’m not sure if I mentioned this before, but I like the new look of your blog. It’s sassy in a different way!

    • Oh yes, society has some very weird views about what makes a person worthy…
      Glad you like the new look. So far I’m feeling thrilled every time I look at both the new looks — not just that it’s new but I think it’s taken this long to (a) figure out enough about what matters in a “theme” to pick wisely for more than just look; and (b) to figure out that I want the blog’s look to express me and (c) how to create one that feels right.

  4. Sometimes (hating to sound all political) I think we are being conditioned to be worried and uncertain. By advertisers, by the media, etc. – when you worry about things you grasp at solutions or things to alleviate that sense of worry. And that’s where they get an open to sell you things you don’t really need. Products to medicate your fears, to patch your problems, pablum entertainment, alcohol, drugs, treat foods to distract you.

    Michael

    • I agree, advertisers like to keep people worried — and I think people like to be distracted by the worries they provide because it keeps them busy so they don’t have to look at anything deeper. I also am aware that in travelling this path I can wind up approaching it as if there’s always something wrong with me. At this point I feel like I’m actually doing pretty well but lately I’m hitting into some of the most deeply held things that have created all the health problems,, etc. so this was a nice wake-up about where to look.

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