Keeping on after patience goes…

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For the last couple of months I’ve been thinking—and sometimes telling others—that I’m beyond patience with this unwinding head thing. When my jaw failed to open out all the way apparently every muscle around my face that connects to either the upper or lower palate got cemented in; at least every time some part of the muscles tries to unwind it feels like it’s been yanked by something encased in cement. And then I have to laugh to myself because of course this, like all things, has its own process and its own time and it is going to do its thing for however long some higher power has determined regardless of whether I do or don’t have patience.

It’s a good lesson in both mindfulness and detachment. The yanks and pulls tug me into painful awareness of the moment and then I struggle each time through the choice of whether to be grateful that the pain means healing or to feel put upon that this keeps happening to me or to shrug and realize that this is just what is and I can choose how to feel about it or whether I need to feel anything at all.

I’m getting more quiet spells when the movement and burning pain calm down for days (or most recently a couple of weeks!) and I sleep and feel good and get a glimmer of what it feels like to have healthy muscles and just live. It used to be that I couldn’t visualize a healthy, pain-free me because I had no memory of what that felt like. Now I have vivid memories of these lovely days I’ve had and I can nudge patience along by reminding myself that all of this leads to feeling that good being normal.

But today, right this minute, to be honest… AACCKK!!! Somebody up there make it stop please, I’m out of patience! And I’m so grateful that the lump of bone in my upper palate is even smaller.

This post if for Jenny Matlock’s AlphabeThursday for which the letter this week is “K”.


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I know, I know, I kind of harp about fluidity and flow. I’ve understood its importance for a long time, but as these last corded muscles slowly open and I feel blood flow where I could not before that understanding is deepening. If you have painfully knotted muscles or tight muscle patterns your blood isn’t circulating everywhere it should go and the vital nutrients that are carried from your breath into your blood stream are failing to reach many places that need the nutrients.

In other words, if your muscles aren’t healthy, relaxed and in proper alignment you won’t just feel pain or tension or have trouble moving, you will not be as healthy as you could be. It takes a lot of effort for your body to hold all those tight patterns and at the same time your body isn’t receiving oxygen and other crucial nutrients so at the least you lack energy. Deep level muscles can also squeeze organs and glands so that they don’t function properly so you can also have more serious impacts. Allopathic medicine largely doesn’t acknowledge muscles as being affected by accidents or injuries nor that untreated muscles issues can impact much more than whether it hurts to move.

Not only do those knots and twists block the flow of blood and breath but the nadis, or energy channels, through which prana (chi or vital force energy) flows are also blocked. Many, if not most, spiritual traditions have practices to assist in keeping the flow of prana open and full because higher consciousness requires the free and balanced flow of energy.

I feel like my long and—at times—tortuous journey through chronic fatigue and twisted, painful muscles has been in part so that I could learn all this and help other people to understand. In the US we have become so separated from our bodies (I’d guess it’s true in general of western civilization but I’ll just claim it based on what I actually know here) that I’m constantly taken aback by how unconscious most people are of their bodies and how lacking in awareness of how every part connects to and impacts every other part.

I’ll keep coming back to this, trying to say it in different ways so it makes sense to different people. Please, take care of keeping your muscles flexible and strong and healthy.

See also: Connections and Your Muscles, Emotions and Your Muscles, Helping the Bodywork Progress, Healing is a Participatory Activity, Sway with Me–Flowing As You Age

Healing the Ancestors

If you’ve been following this blog for a while you know that I’ve been exploring various aspects of ancestors and their influence off and on for some time (if you haven’t you can put “ancestors” in the search bar in the right column and you’ll see other posts about it). When I wrote my novel in the 90’s, Echoing Ancestors, I obviously had inklings of the big role our forebears play but it’s really only been in the last few years that I’ve worked my way toward more understanding. I guess the shaman who told me there was an issue in my maternal line that went back seven generations led me to begin exploring.

As often happens, the more I aware I became of how my ancestors have influenced me, the more information about it appeared. Recently I started feeling that a lot of the remaining issues in my muscles were inherited from my ancestors. In conversation with Kreig about Bodypatterning he provided a lot of information derived from Rupert Sheldrake and David Bohm about many kinds of physical patterns that can be passed down for many generations. Genealogy research led me to realize that most of my ancestors came to America very poor and that regardless of whether they did well or not they lived from a place of poverty consciousness and that that has continued to the present even in branches of my family that had been wealthy for some time.

In a long discussion with Kreig—who, like me, has deep roots in Kentucky—we agreed that probably most people whose families go back for many generations in Kentucky have some degree of poverty consciousness as part of their legacy. So we decided that it would be interesting to invite some Kentuckians for a healing ceremony for the ancestors.  I wanted to keep it small so I invited six people and suggested that they could invite a few more (although I secretly kind of wanted six). The numbers waxed and waned and by the day before I felt a little nervous because it seemed to be getting big, but in that way the universe has of resolving all things a lot of factors intervened and in the end there were exactly six of us.

First, we just talked about ancestral issues, with Kreig and I discussing the path that led us to the ceremony and everyone discussing their ancestral tales. Then, after resonating into heart energy, we created a circle in which each person spent some time in the middle with the whole group sending healing energy to all that person’s ancestors. As we worked we felt the room filling with ancestors and a growing energy. After each person experienced healing for their own line we all chanted the lovingkindness chant for all of Kentucky’s ancestors. All of us agreed that it was a powerful experience.

Kreig wisely pointed out that an important feature of this work is do the work but let go of the story. In other words don’t get caught up in the story of poverty consciousness so that you’re held there, just be aware of the influences from your forebears, heal it and move on. He also reminded us that the ancestors aren’t just a big problem to be eradicated but that in shamanic tradition you can also call upon the ancestors for assistance—so why not ask them to help in this healing?

As I saw different participants in the next week I heard lots of tales of being spaced out for a few days or feeling that something had shifted. I have moved into a much better space both physically and mentally and suddenly a lot of things about my business life—which had seemed mired in some kind of block to success—started moving. Now, of course, I’ve been doing practices, seeing bodyworkers, and working hard to release issues, raise energy, etc., for many years (including lots of Reiki and EFT for my ancestors and ancestral issues) so I have to say I don’t know that that one ceremony would have produced such a powerful effect without all that came before, but it still feels like a big turning point.

Some of us are talking about having an ancestral healing ceremony every couple of months because we felt it had such a profound impact. I’m hearing that some therapists are starting to recommend doing some genealogical research before starting therapy as the ancestors have such a powerful influence on our lives. I highly recommend exploring your family tree and figuring out what kind of ancestral healing you’d like to do.

See also:,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.&bvm=bv.41524429,d.b2U&fp=99bbb1d5e9938d35&ion=1&biw=1366&bih=643

Healing Journey Monday: The final stretch

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My journey the last month or so has been mostly a hibernation that included lots of sleepless nights from the unwinding head saga and a flu that went several rounds. The amazing upside is that the huge lump of bone in the roof of my mouth has flattened considerably during this time and as the big constricted lump in my head has loosened my energy and outlook have changed noticeably.

I also managed to complete the instruction book for my movement classes (cover above) and it will be available on Kindle within the next couple of days ($2.99). For 90 days it’s available in the lending library if you have Amazon Prime so check it out for free while you can. I even have an author page!

Another big piece of the change-in-progress was a ceremony some friends and I performed a couple of weeks ago to heal all our ancestors – I’m working on a post about that that will be up soon. Let’s just say it was an amazing afternoon.

The last few days, after several days of sleeping and sleeping, I’ve actually felt motivated and positive and I’ve been slowly checking off “to-do’s” that have been hanging over my head for quite a while. This is an aspect of who I used to be that I’ve missed and I have to say I’m glad to have her back!

Think PEACE!

Awakening to the Dance

“If you want to make peace, don’t talk to your friends.  You talk to your enemies.”  Desmond Tutu

What have you done this week to create peace in your heart, your family, or your community?

Spiritually Inspiring Talk

Last night I was mesmerized by Greg Barrett, a Pulitzer-nominated author who spoke about his latest book, The Gospel of Rutba: War, Peace, and the Good Samaritan Story in Iraq.  This is the story of how Rutba, a rural desert town in western Iraq, rescued three American peacemakers during the Shock and Awe bombings of 2003.  Not far from the Jordanian border, the peacemakers’ taxi careened off the road and crashed.  One of the occupants was very seriously injured.  A truckload of Iraqis found them and took them to a small clinic in Rutba where the hospital had recently been destroyed by American Bombs.  Despite the destruction and lack…

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