I’ve been looking back at the beginning of my journey a lot lately. I feel like I’m approaching the end of the physical healing part of the journey and peeling away more layers. Seems to bring up thoughts of “then” compared to “now”.
I started the journey with great excitement. Two friends and I explored together and were giddy with our new discoveries. “Can you believe the synchronicity?” “The one who channels Ramtha is coming!” “I see now why I do that!” You get the idea. As I look back I think we also had a lot of hubris about the degree to which we’d succeeded and how quickly we assumed we’d be done.
Eventually I learned that one of the signs of maturing along the journey is ceasing the expectation that there’s a final “doneness” or that the road to enlightenment is swiftly travelled. I do miss that sense of great excitement though.
Somewhere along the way my journey lost that sense of magic and became more about constant practice and delving and releasing with progress that became ever more slow. I think the excitement at the beginning is what draws a lot of initial success at manifesting and generally feeling better. Then a lot of people run into the walls of their own issues and progress becomes more sporadic. It sure happened to me.
I’ve been wondering whether part of the idea of keeping what the Buddhists call “beginner’s mind” is the ability to maintain that initial sense of delight. Previously I related it to just trying not to be jaded or to ever think that I’ve become so advanced that I couldn’t learn something new from an introductory class or someone who’s new to the journey. Perhaps one of the greatest gifts of the beginner is the joy of new discovery and that’s one of the more difficult things to hang onto; at least it is for me.