Guidance

A couple of years ago I got a trial membership with Ancestry.com and became obsessed with hunting down my family tree.  Since 3 of my 4 grandparents were dead before either of my parents reached the age of 12 there are a lot of gaps in our knowledge, including that both of them had some aunts and uncles they never knew existed.  I felt guilty about all the time I put into that search at the expense of other things, but I just couldn’t seem to stop.

When I started filling in a few generations on one side of the family I began to see a pattern of boarding houses and several generations living together in small quarters;  low education, low paid labor, etc.  At the time I knew there were some family issues about scarcity, struggle and never having enough, so it just registered for me as confirmation that the issues were there with a note of interest that they clearly went back at least a few generations and spread into many branches of the family tree.  Then I went back to doing what I thought I should be.

A couple of months ago, with some meditative guidance, I created some phrases for Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) that were designed to shift what I felt were some core issues that had hung on in spite of years of delving, screaming, pounding, bodywork, etc.  A couple of weeks later at a massage session I suddenly felt those issues as tied to the deep family beliefs;  “to the bone”,  I kept thinking, “it’s in our cells, it goes to the bone.”

When I first found the information, if I hadn’t been so busy chastising myself about what I was not doing I might not have jumped away from the project and into other things before I had a chance to explore the full nature of what my family tree was telling me.  So often I am guided to just what I need and stand there like the proverbial horse with the pond at my feet while I’m too busy gazing at the trail up a mountain on the other side to notice.

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